The sportswriters of America have failed. It’s been more than a week since “The Decision” and “Miami Thrice” has been the most creative nickname for the Heat’s new big three. Since “Miami Thrice” is lame to begin with, it’s not even worth discussing how the pun isn’t relevant to anyone under the age of thirty. My personal favorite nickname is “The SuperFriends” because it invokes the twin thoughts of a group of superheroes and a group of teenage girls who make scrapbooks for each other and assign a rhyming and/or alliterative moniker to their group of friends. LeBron (Superman), Wade (Batman) and Bosh (Robin) probably prefer the superhero comparison. I much prefer the scrapbooking option because Mike Miller (Wonder Woman?) would be the fourth girl who somehow receives a scrapbook despite riding the coattails of her far cooler friends. No matter that the other girls have to search twice as hard for pictures that include all four girls instead of just the “Terrific/Tempestuous/Talented/Tasty/Tan/Tremendous/Tittilicious Three.” BFFs! Either way, both of these comparisons will continue to hit too close to home until Miller decides to cut his hair.
Considering the backlash still emanating from LeBron’s Decision, the positive nature of most of the offered nicknames has been surprising. Why so positive? Why “The SuperFriends” when “The Legion of Doom” is far more appropriate? Hmmm…”The Legion of Doom”…interesting. After his very public murder of the city of Cleveland, it’s apparent that LeBron James is more Bizarro than Superman. Mike Miller fits in perfectly as Cheetah until someone takes scissors to his aforementioned haircut. Joel Anthony is Gorilla Grodd. Who? Exactly. And the man behind the plan? Is that Pat Riley or the real life Lex Luthor? Riley has the whole masterminding a diabolically genius plan thing down but the next step toward Lex may prove more difficult. Riles will have to give up that head of luscious, margarine-soaked hair. That picture is deceiving but have no fear, the BP oil spill only appears to have made its way inland and into Riley’s Miami residence.
Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh are conspicuously absent from this proposed Legion. The reasons are threefold and thus an excuse to eschew any lame attempt at paragraph structure. Bullet-time!
-Their exclusion is a punishment for not announcing their respective free agency decisions in a painfully long, drawn-out, artificial hour-long live show on ESPN. A missed opportunity for some publicity, fellas. And publicity has clearly been the missing element in the 2010 NBA Free Agency Saga.*
-There is no case for including a velociraptor in the Legion of Doom. None. Stan Lee would roll over in his grave. And he wasn't even involved in "The SuperFriends." Also, Mr. Lee is apparently still alive. 87 years and counting! Thanks, Wikipedia.
-Even after factoring in a series of wild accusations, multiple injuries, a blatant disregard for the NBA traveling rule, an ongoing messy divorce and the recruitment of two fellow superstars to form the most hated (and soon to be loved) NBA team of the past decade/eternity, it's very difficult to cast Dwyane Wade as a villain. Dude is awesome. Go Flash.
*perfectly hyped to death for two years by ESPN and sponsored by the University of Phoenix and Bing
Remember the month of July 2010 at the 2011 All-Star break. Miami will be on their way to the number one seed in a competitive Eastern Conference by playing a wonderful, aesthetically pleasing brand of basketball. The press will be writing fawning articles over LeBron James' unselfishness and the gritty sacrifices of Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem. Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh will be thriving with teammates 47 times better than the management of the 2009-10 Heat and Raptors provided, respectively. Expectations will only be tempered by the requisite quotes from players declaring that "It ain't no thing without that ring." Kobe Bryant rehabilitated his image in six short months. LeBron and the Miami Heat will do the same. Barring injury, they will be a regular season juggernaut. And it will be beautiful, must-see TV.
Watch Miami's upcoming pursuit of the 2011 Larry O'Brien trophy because James, Wade and Bosh have already made history even before stepping onto the court together. Respect them if they seamlessly merge their talents together in forming an NBA champion. But remember to hate them. The Miami Heat are the Legion of Doom, threatening to destroy the NBA's competitive balance for the next decade. The only hope is that Superman and his SuperFriends are there to save the world. Again.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
The Land of the Free in the Home of the Vuvuzelas
What's the greatest sports movie of all-time? Hoosiers. Maybe Field of Dreams. Perhaps Rocky if you're the type of person who can tolerate two hours of Sylvester Stallone. It's a worthwhile debate. What does this debate have to do with the 2010 World Cup? Nothing. But if I asked you what's the greatest hockey movie released by Disney in 2004? There's no debating that one; it's Miracle (I'm shooting for a Miracle on Ice reference every other post. So far, so good.). What does Miracle have to do with the 2010 World Cup? Very little. But upon such ground, cities are built. Or whatever that saying is. You get the gist.
The Miracle on Ice is the greatest moment in American sports history. There is more debate on this subject than on Disney's greatest 2004 hockey movie, but not by much. The Cold War tensions of USA vs. USSR forever ensured Miracle's place in history. But the nature of the victory was equally important. The American team was a gigantic underdog. The, dare I say, miraculous nature of the win resonated more with the American public than a victory by any overwhelming favorite ever could. But 1980 was the last chance Americans had to root for an underdog with any sort of chance at success. The Dream Team was formed for the 1992 Olympics and since then anything less than a gold medal in an international basketball competition is considered an embarrassment. The American hockey and baseball teams may not have the same sort of unforgiving expectations as the basketball team but both are in the small group of elite teams at the top of their respective sports. No one else even plays American football. Foreign athletes come to ply their trade in America because we're the best (and most wealthy). It is a burden to wear the target on your back, to be at the top of the mountain, to be number one, to be the gold standard. Despite substantial strides made by other countries, the United States is still that gold standard in most athletic pursuits. But not soccer.
I am on record with my defense of greatness and athletic excellence. I have enjoyed watching a great (when focused) Lakers team over the past seven months. But barring very unforeseen circumstances the Lakers were going to be playing for the NBA Finals in June. And anything less than the capturing of the NBA championship next week will feel like a disappointment. Even to the fans. Watching and rooting for a great team comes with pressure and an aura of vague responsibility never associated with rooting for an up-and-coming underdog. Underdogs can only exceed expectations. Underdogs are fun. The USA Men's National Soccer Team is an underdog.
USA-England will likely go down as the most watched soccer telecast of all-time in the United States. A great many of these viewers, being the brash Americans that they are, believe that we will win this game just like we won the Revolutionary War (somewhat unconvincingly and with aid from France?). That is certainly possible but in all likelihood the English will win comfortably by the scoreline 2-0 or 3-1. There is a noticeable gulf in the talent level between the two teams and only two Americans would even make the English squad of 23 players; Landon Donovan and Tim Howard. The World Cup is not about USA-England, it's about USA-Slovenia and USA-Algeria and finishing second in Group C to advance to the single elimination portion of the tournament. At that point it becomes March Madness with penalty shootouts (i.e even more suspenseful and unpredictable) and anything can happen. Anything.
One team has beaten the Spanish national team since 2006. That team is the United States. Still, the world does not respect American soccer. It's unclear whether that's because of anti-American bias or the fact that Jonathon Spector starts for our national team. We will probably lose to England and would be likely underdogs in the event of advancement from Group C and a potential round-of-16 match. But that doesn't mean the American team is not capable of beating anyone in the world on a given day. We will not win the World Cup but we deserve respect. We may not have a superstar or an elite goalscorer. Our defenders may be slow and out midfield may lack creativity. We may be underdogs in the world of soccer but we are fun underdogs. This team likes each other. They work hard. They are in shape. With the proper mindset, watching this team perform on the world's biggest stage should be a wonderful experience. Be aware of the odds but relish the freedom of lower expectations. It's an opportunity an American sports fan rarely gets. We may not win the World Cup but a matchup with England or Spain or Argentina can no longer be counted as an automatic loss. In fact, it brings to mind the tagline of Disney's greatest 1994 baseball movie, Angels in the Outfield. It could happen.
Coming Up Next...Thoughts on Day 1 and/or running commentary during USA-England match
The Miracle on Ice is the greatest moment in American sports history. There is more debate on this subject than on Disney's greatest 2004 hockey movie, but not by much. The Cold War tensions of USA vs. USSR forever ensured Miracle's place in history. But the nature of the victory was equally important. The American team was a gigantic underdog. The, dare I say, miraculous nature of the win resonated more with the American public than a victory by any overwhelming favorite ever could. But 1980 was the last chance Americans had to root for an underdog with any sort of chance at success. The Dream Team was formed for the 1992 Olympics and since then anything less than a gold medal in an international basketball competition is considered an embarrassment. The American hockey and baseball teams may not have the same sort of unforgiving expectations as the basketball team but both are in the small group of elite teams at the top of their respective sports. No one else even plays American football. Foreign athletes come to ply their trade in America because we're the best (and most wealthy). It is a burden to wear the target on your back, to be at the top of the mountain, to be number one, to be the gold standard. Despite substantial strides made by other countries, the United States is still that gold standard in most athletic pursuits. But not soccer.
I am on record with my defense of greatness and athletic excellence. I have enjoyed watching a great (when focused) Lakers team over the past seven months. But barring very unforeseen circumstances the Lakers were going to be playing for the NBA Finals in June. And anything less than the capturing of the NBA championship next week will feel like a disappointment. Even to the fans. Watching and rooting for a great team comes with pressure and an aura of vague responsibility never associated with rooting for an up-and-coming underdog. Underdogs can only exceed expectations. Underdogs are fun. The USA Men's National Soccer Team is an underdog.
USA-England will likely go down as the most watched soccer telecast of all-time in the United States. A great many of these viewers, being the brash Americans that they are, believe that we will win this game just like we won the Revolutionary War (somewhat unconvincingly and with aid from France?). That is certainly possible but in all likelihood the English will win comfortably by the scoreline 2-0 or 3-1. There is a noticeable gulf in the talent level between the two teams and only two Americans would even make the English squad of 23 players; Landon Donovan and Tim Howard. The World Cup is not about USA-England, it's about USA-Slovenia and USA-Algeria and finishing second in Group C to advance to the single elimination portion of the tournament. At that point it becomes March Madness with penalty shootouts (i.e even more suspenseful and unpredictable) and anything can happen. Anything.
One team has beaten the Spanish national team since 2006. That team is the United States. Still, the world does not respect American soccer. It's unclear whether that's because of anti-American bias or the fact that Jonathon Spector starts for our national team. We will probably lose to England and would be likely underdogs in the event of advancement from Group C and a potential round-of-16 match. But that doesn't mean the American team is not capable of beating anyone in the world on a given day. We will not win the World Cup but we deserve respect. We may not have a superstar or an elite goalscorer. Our defenders may be slow and out midfield may lack creativity. We may be underdogs in the world of soccer but we are fun underdogs. This team likes each other. They work hard. They are in shape. With the proper mindset, watching this team perform on the world's biggest stage should be a wonderful experience. Be aware of the odds but relish the freedom of lower expectations. It's an opportunity an American sports fan rarely gets. We may not win the World Cup but a matchup with England or Spain or Argentina can no longer be counted as an automatic loss. In fact, it brings to mind the tagline of Disney's greatest 1994 baseball movie, Angels in the Outfield. It could happen.
Coming Up Next...Thoughts on Day 1 and/or running commentary during USA-England match
The World Cup?
Five months without a post? It’s been so long that Phileas Fogg has had time to nearly complete two around the world journeys. And since one of my principles is a general refusal to be embarrassed by any 19th century fictional character, that can only mean one thing...it’s bloggin time. It’s too bad the public will probably have to wait until October for another such similarly inane introduction. But until then the masses all four of you will have to manage with my thoughts on the greatest tournament in the world...THE NBA FINALS ON ABC! Nice. Actually, it’s the World Cup. Why the World Cup? Flawless logic. Soccer is the only truly global sport so the world’s greatest tournament should be a soccer tournament. The World Cup showcases the best combination of passion, skill, intrigue and patriotism soccer has to offer. Six continents will be represented this year and nearly every country in the world is eligible to participate. Yes, even you, North Korea. Ergo, blah blah, ipso facto, etc etc. Even a certain namesake of mine would be astounded by my deductive reasoning. The number of 19th century literary references now equals my estimated number of readers. I should probably move on. Cue transition.
I imagine you’re already wondering why you should bother reading this blog during the World Cup. My answer is this...you are a stupid American and know very little about soccer. I, on the other hand, played six games of high school varsity soccer and rank Soccernet as my fourth-most visited website. Okay, maybe I’m not the most qualified person, either. But I definitely have the time on my hands to watch most of the matches and my sleep schedule is already properly aligned to South African time. Seems like quite the resume to me. Plus, it’s awfully difficult to understand any of the actual experts given their ridiculous accents and incomprehensible euphemisms. Pox on them. That eliminates a good deal of my competition and I’d like to think that I have a more entertaining approach than my colleagues (yeah. I said it. colleagues.) over at ESPN. I very much doubt they will be painstakingly compiling a World Cup Ugliest XI over the next month but here at...whatever this blog’s called...I will do my best to field the most hideous team possible under Co-captains Franck Ribery and Carlos Tevez. Half of the English squad already appears to be jockeying for position so the Three Lions will be delighted to know that another roster spot has opened up due to Ronaldinho’s absence from this year’s tournament. You might even say that he’s been put out to pasture. Even if you can expect many more mediocre jokes and absolutely amateurish soccer analysis but I will bravely trudge along as America’s idiot savant for the 2010 World Cup in hopes of educating and entertaining a new generation of soccer* fans. May God have mercy on your soul.
Coming up next: Why I’m proud to be an American this June…
*As obligated by ESPN I am here to remind you that soccer is going to be the next big thing in America. No, really. I mean it this time. One game changes everything. Seriously. Yeah. Go soccer.
I imagine you’re already wondering why you should bother reading this blog during the World Cup. My answer is this...you are a stupid American and know very little about soccer. I, on the other hand, played six games of high school varsity soccer and rank Soccernet as my fourth-most visited website. Okay, maybe I’m not the most qualified person, either. But I definitely have the time on my hands to watch most of the matches and my sleep schedule is already properly aligned to South African time. Seems like quite the resume to me. Plus, it’s awfully difficult to understand any of the actual experts given their ridiculous accents and incomprehensible euphemisms. Pox on them. That eliminates a good deal of my competition and I’d like to think that I have a more entertaining approach than my colleagues (yeah. I said it. colleagues.) over at ESPN. I very much doubt they will be painstakingly compiling a World Cup Ugliest XI over the next month but here at...whatever this blog’s called...I will do my best to field the most hideous team possible under Co-captains Franck Ribery and Carlos Tevez. Half of the English squad already appears to be jockeying for position so the Three Lions will be delighted to know that another roster spot has opened up due to Ronaldinho’s absence from this year’s tournament. You might even say that he’s been put out to pasture. Even if you can expect many more mediocre jokes and absolutely amateurish soccer analysis but I will bravely trudge along as America’s idiot savant for the 2010 World Cup in hopes of educating and entertaining a new generation of soccer* fans. May God have mercy on your soul.
Coming up next: Why I’m proud to be an American this June…
*As obligated by ESPN I am here to remind you that soccer is going to be the next big thing in America. No, really. I mean it this time. One game changes everything. Seriously. Yeah. Go soccer.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Circle of Life
I posted this over at http://illegalnotion.blogspot.com/ so you should probably read it there but here you go...
Hi, everybody! (Hi, Dr. Nick.) I realize this is primarily an NFL Draft blog but I am one of the sixteen basketball fans left in this country and so will thus feel periodically compelled to offer my thoughts on my first love, the NBA. I can only hope the remaining fifteen fans are among the readers of this blog but I am not particularly optimistic about that point. These NBA musings will eventually all be accessible on the NBA Talk page (see the navigation bar above). Anyway, what better topic to begin my mostly incoherent ramblings than the primary point of contention among irrational NBA fanboys everywhere...Kobe vs. LeBron. One disclaimer before we get to the post...I am a diehard Lakers fan and Kobe Bryant is my favorite athlete of all-time. Nice. I don't believe this affects my objectivity in forming opinions but it's only right to put that out there first thing and let you make your own judgment. But onto the post...
I believe there is some sort of saying/adage/Chinese proverb that gives us the (surely paraphrased) nugget of wisdom that we cannot properly evaluate the present/future if we don't understand the past. Where we have been determines where we are going. So let's take a trip down memory lane to start things off here...
In the midst of the Lakers' mini-dynasty at the beginning of the past decade, Shaquille O'Neal began calling teammate Kobe Bryant the best basketball player on the planet. While this mostly illustrates Shaq's false modesty and a decided ignorance of one Mr. Timothy Duncan from San Antonio, Kobe certainly became the league's premier perimeter player around 2001. He has remained the most skilled (but not necessarily the best) player ever since. Some time after Duncan's back-to-back MVP's in 2002 and 2003 and during Shaq's descent into obesity, it became standard operating procedure to refer to Kobe Bryant as the world's best player. The NBA was Kobe's world for much of the past decade but if you haven't noticed the 00s are over. Kobe's time is over. And the NBA seems to be better off for it.
Kobe Bryant's reign as the NBA's finest player was a dark time for the league. He kicked things off by being accused of sexual assault in Eagle, Colorado. He then played a part in the destruction of the league's dominant team (a team the league needed because it created almost as much interest as Michael Jordan had), a Shaq/Kobe/Phil Jackson combination in Los Angeles. Kobe spent his prime languishing away on otherwise terrible Lakers team (not much there once Shaq left) and the league suffered. The Spurs won three championships in a five year span, each NBA finals receiving terrible television ratings as fan interest dipped. Fans wanted to see the league's preeminent player and its greatest shot-maker but Kobe Bryant was nowhere to be found. There was only Tim Duncan left to bridge the gap and his maddening adherence to fundamentals, more maddening consistency and most maddening eye-bulging weren't going to get it done. Tim Duncan is the greatest power forward of all-time. Tim Duncan is not Kobe Bryant.
Meanwhile, in events unrelated to Kobe Bryant or the NBA's waning starpower, the league additionally suffered from exceedingly dubious officiating (see 2006 NBA Finals) and the Ron Artest Brawl in Detroit. Michael Jordan legitimized the NBA as a mainstream professional league but left a gigantic vacuum at the top of the league after his (perhaps premature) retirement. The next decade should have been about Kobe Bryant fulfilling his potential as Michael Jordan's heir (if not necessarily his equal) but Kobe was not up to the task. He may have started his career in promising fashion and consistently demonstrated his immense talent but Kobe's overall body of work was not consistent or successful enough to maintain the casual fan's interest throughout the 00s. The league struggled and there were whispers of the NBA falling back to a niche sport in the post-Jordan years. Since 1980 (Magic and Bird enter the league), the NBA has been steadily gaining popularity. Basketball emerged around the world as a sport that could catch on internationally in a way that football (and to some extent, baseball) never managed. But five years ago the NBA could not maintain interest in its' country of origin. What had happened? The circle of life had briefly failed the NBA. And now the aforementioned trip down memory lane is complete and we can move onto the actual post (yeah, five paragraphs in and we're just getting started)...
What is the common thread holding together the childhoods of all Generation Nexters? (I'd like to propose an official change to Generation Sexters but that's an issue for another time) Is it the brief but bizarre fascination with beanie babies? For everyone's sake I'm going to say no to that one. Is it the O.J. trial? Good guess, but not quite. The thread that has stood the test of time (or at least the past fifteen years) and pulls our generation together is...The Lion King. Nice. (Obviously. Circle of life reference last paragraph? Come on now. And what else is there...pogs?
Just like any great Disney movie, The Lion King reveals most of life's important lessons upon closer inspection. Never trust the creepy, menacing uncle because he probably has diabolic plans that center around your exile/death. Everyone needs a fat, funny, slightly gaseous sidekick. Meerkats are awesome. Hyenas? Not so much. Always try to avoid a thundering wildebeest stampede. Ooooh, my bad. Still too soon? Regardless of the value of these lessons, the most important message passed onto our generation from The Lion King centers around the circle of life. The strong rule the weak until they inevitably succumb to weakness themselves. This brings about a new generation of ruling strength and life continues in this fashion indefinitely (or at least until the end of the movie and its sequel). Like any great lesson, the circle of life applies to more than the jungle life of lions, hyenas, warthogs and Rafiki. So while the NBA only possesses passing similarities with the African jungle, the circle of life could not have been more evident last Thursday night at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland during the Lakers-Cavaliers game. Or as it was better known as...Kobe vs. LeBron!! Part II!!
Despite his many admirers and rather vehement supporters, Kobe now quite obviously plays second fiddle to LeBron James. James burst onto the scene as a nineteen year old rookie in 2003 and has produced historically good statistics every year since. But it took James a few years to realize his potential as a player, as opposed to that of an athlete. Something seemed to click after the 2007 season (a regular season that he noticeably coasted through) and James has been the best player in the league ever since his single-handed destruction of the Pistons' stranglehold on the Eastern Conference in Game 5 the 2007 Conference Finals. But despite LeBron's domination, the LeBron vs. Kobe debate rages on.
In a way it's understandable; LeBron vs. Kobe is the most compelling individual matchup and "rivalry" since Magic and Bird battled in the 1980s. They should go down as two of the greatest ten players of all-time (at worst) and both are leading championship contenders near their respective individual primes. They both play on the wing but frequently handle the ball to initiate the offense and have very well-rounded games on both ends of the floor. Though they share these similarities and would thus seem to draw comparisons naturally, the debate continues for only two reasons; the complete restoration of Kobe's public image and Lebron's lack of championship rings.
Just as LeBron was ready to ascend to the top of the NBA world (king of the jungle you might say), Pau Gasol fell into the Lakers' lap and suddenly Kobe went from being a pouting gunner demanding a trade away from his mediocre NBA team to a mature, unselfish leader on the eventual Western Conference champions. Of course, Kobe didn't significantly alter his game during this time and you'd be hard-pressed to argue he improved as a player but the public's perception of Kobe was hastily modified by the Lakers' success and that made all the difference. Kobe was very likely a lesser player in 2008 than in 2006 when Kobe controversially shot (approximately) 437 times per game and carried the worst supporting cast in the league (other starters were Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Luke Walton and Smush Parker) to 45 wins and a near playoff series victory over a very good Phoenix Suns team. But most of the media places a huge emphasis on winning (not saying that is a terrible approach but other factors need to be considered) and consequently champions receive more (and sometimes undue) praise than superstar leaders of 45-win teams. And when there is a drastic change in win totals (Lakers improved by fifteen wins) the media must attribute this improvement to something new and/or improved. Nearly all of that improvement came from Pau Gasol being (not approximation, actual fact) 437 times better than Kwame Brown but Kobe, being Kobe, received a bit too much credit just as he had previously received a bit too much blame. And because of all of this Kobe received the 2008 MVP award and held onto the unofficial status as "best player in the world," both titles that LeBron thought within his grasp.
Whether LeBron's 2008 playoff series loss to the Celtics was particularly hard to swallow or the Redeem Team experience (and the exposure to Kobe's work ethic) particularly enlightening, LeBron spent the next twelve months dominating the league in a fashion not seen since young, motivated Shaq or, dare I say it, another #23 from Chicago. He was the best player on the Redeem Team that won the gold medal over a more than competent Spain team. He improved his shooting both from the free throw line (71% to 78%) and three point line (31% to 35%) while exhibiting a new-found appreciation for defense. LeBron's most impressive plays during the 2008-2009 season were not dunks, but blocks like these on opposing teams' fast break opportunities. He led a Cavalier team with only two other above average players (Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao), neither of whom are close to all-NBA performers, to 66 regular season wins. LeBron deservedly won his first MVP award and went on to average 35-9-7-2-1 in the playoffs. But Cleveland could not find its' way past the Orlando Magic and the subsequent media whirlwind over LeBron's refusal to acknowledge the Magic after the loss (and later Nike's confiscation of this rather underwhelming tape) put a damper on an otherwise historic season. Plus, the elephant in the room was not exactly sitting there quietly. Kobe Bryant was making quite a bit of noise of his own.
LeBron was Team USA's best player and (self-dubbed) leader but Kobe Bryant (and Jason Kidd) set the tone for the entire team. It was Kobe who laid the groundwork for Olympic gold in the qualifying Tournament of the Americas with his suffocating defense on Leandro Barbosa. And when Spain closed to within five points during the fourth quarter of the gold medal game, it was Kobe (the best player in the fourth quarter) who converted the ridiculous four-point play to give the U.S.A. breathing room. The NBA's 2008-2009 regular season saw a similar progression of events. LeBron was the league's most outstanding player throughout but Kobe hoisted the NBA Finals MVP trophy and won his first title as the best player on a championship team. LeBron has (somehow) become an even more efficient player this season and the Cavaliers have the best record in the league (again). But of the three analysts on TNT's studio show, only Charles Barkley gave the nod to LeBron as the game's best player (and that is a relatively recent development). Despite LeBron's MVP award and continued excellence it seems as if the TNT show is fairly indicative of the overall LeBron-Kobe debate and each side has a similar number of advocates. While not quite a traveshamockery, that there is even a debate at all shortchanges LeBron's complete (since I'm already using made-up words) badassness. That is all about to change.
Kobe passed the torch last Thursday. There was a changing of the guard. If you have another saying that describes the transition feel free to insert it here. Kobe started off hot and finished with 31 points but shot only 4-15 on field goals in the second half. LeBron managed a very productive first half despite not hitting his jumpshot but found his stroke in the fourth quarter and scored twelve straight points (many coming on eighteen footers). LeBron's hot streak was not an aberration, merely a return toward the mean because *gulp* he is now a good shooter. He shoots better than Kobe from three and posts only slightly worse percentages from 16-23 feet. Is a healthy Kobe Bryant the second best player in the NBA? Probably. Perhaps definitely (despite what those advanced statistical metrics reveal) considering his improved post game makes him more efficient than in years past. Has Kobe Bryant ever been as good as LeBron James is right now? Probably not. James is the single greatest athlete in NBA history, boasts exceptional vision, has a good/serviceable jumpshot, can defend multiple positions and is a very good rebounder. So...ummm...that pretty much covers everything. LeBron can do more things, more efficiently than Kobe ever could and has shown he has the ability to lead a team, too (his teammates love him). What more could you want? Oh, right. A championship.
Following the game last week the stories circulating around the internet seemed to focus on Cleveland's front court production (despite the Lakers talent advantage at power forward and center) and how the physical presence of Varejao and Shaq brought the big man match-up to a standstill. A very good point and a tip of my hat to journalists everywhere. But if the supporting casts played evenly who does that leave? Kobe and LeBron. The two went mano-a-mano down the stretch and LeBron came out on top. While it's always dangerous to read too much into one game (Orlando swept the regular season series last year against the Lakers and were easily dispatched in the Finals), this game showed the likely result of any game in which Cleveland neutralizes L.A.'s front court advantage. If LeBron and Kobe trade punches in the fourth quarter, more often than not it will be the Lakers looking like this. The Lakers can still win the title but it won't be because of Kobe Bryant's utter brilliance. He is no longer the best player in the game and while there has been debate about that very subject I have a sneaking suspicion that debate will be over in six months. LeBron James is the best player in the game and will not be denied again.
During their stint as teammates on the Dream Team, Michael Jordan had a discussion with Larry Bird and Magic Johnson about the greatest player/teams of all-time. I use the word "discussion" loosely. MJ concluded the conversation by saying that the 80s were over and it was his time now, that when everything was said and done he would go down as the greatest player who ever lived. Jordan proved himself a prophet over the next seven years, vanquishing all comers who couldn't throw a curve ball. The circle of life continued. A new superstar emerged with a combination of skill, athleticism, intelligence and desire never seen before. Just as importantly, Jordan played an exciting brand of basketball and was charismatic off the court. He captured the average fan's interest and sent the NBA's popularity through the roof. When Jordan retired there were two heir apparents that might be able to mimic Jordan's career arc (though not surpass it) and help maintain the NBA's popularity. (NOTE: I'm excluding Duncan, Garnett and Shaq because only Shaq had the necessary charisma and no one likes rooting for Goliath) Allen Iverson proved to be too shot-happy and had too many tattoos to appeal to corporate America. Kobe Bryant was handsome, spoke Italian and played the game with both flash and a composure that belied his young years. Kobe couldn't quite put everything together but the circle of life moved on and LeBron emerged as the rightful heir to Jordan (if we're going strictly The Lion King and Mufasa-MJ and LeBron-Simba does that make Kobe-Scar? I incidentally managed to compare Kobe to both Dumbo and Scar in the same post...I am the worst Lakers fan ever).
What will the game's evolution bring us in twenty years? Dwight Howard with Hakeem Olajuwon's footwork? The yeti from NBA Street (:50 mark)? I don't know who will be ruling the NBA jungle in 2030 but I know it will be something special because the circle of life continues.
I don't know how LeBron's career will unfold but if he has Jordan set in his sights I don't know who will stop him from being in the same conversation with His Airness. Kobe has been MJ-lite but King James seems to have already overtaken the former Prince of L.A. As a Lakers fan, I find LeBron entitled, arrogant and a bit annoying. As a basketball fan I am giddy about his future. Maybe in June the pundits will look back six months and find the turning point in the season on a cold January night. For all we know it could be a turning point in league history. The debate is over. Kobe's time is over. The future belongs to LeBron.
Hi, everybody! (Hi, Dr. Nick.) I realize this is primarily an NFL Draft blog but I am one of the sixteen basketball fans left in this country and so will thus feel periodically compelled to offer my thoughts on my first love, the NBA. I can only hope the remaining fifteen fans are among the readers of this blog but I am not particularly optimistic about that point. These NBA musings will eventually all be accessible on the NBA Talk page (see the navigation bar above). Anyway, what better topic to begin my mostly incoherent ramblings than the primary point of contention among irrational NBA fanboys everywhere...Kobe vs. LeBron. One disclaimer before we get to the post...I am a diehard Lakers fan and Kobe Bryant is my favorite athlete of all-time. Nice. I don't believe this affects my objectivity in forming opinions but it's only right to put that out there first thing and let you make your own judgment. But onto the post...
I believe there is some sort of saying/adage/Chinese proverb that gives us the (surely paraphrased) nugget of wisdom that we cannot properly evaluate the present/future if we don't understand the past. Where we have been determines where we are going. So let's take a trip down memory lane to start things off here...
In the midst of the Lakers' mini-dynasty at the beginning of the past decade, Shaquille O'Neal began calling teammate Kobe Bryant the best basketball player on the planet. While this mostly illustrates Shaq's false modesty and a decided ignorance of one Mr. Timothy Duncan from San Antonio, Kobe certainly became the league's premier perimeter player around 2001. He has remained the most skilled (but not necessarily the best) player ever since. Some time after Duncan's back-to-back MVP's in 2002 and 2003 and during Shaq's descent into obesity, it became standard operating procedure to refer to Kobe Bryant as the world's best player. The NBA was Kobe's world for much of the past decade but if you haven't noticed the 00s are over. Kobe's time is over. And the NBA seems to be better off for it.
Kobe Bryant's reign as the NBA's finest player was a dark time for the league. He kicked things off by being accused of sexual assault in Eagle, Colorado. He then played a part in the destruction of the league's dominant team (a team the league needed because it created almost as much interest as Michael Jordan had), a Shaq/Kobe/Phil Jackson combination in Los Angeles. Kobe spent his prime languishing away on otherwise terrible Lakers team (not much there once Shaq left) and the league suffered. The Spurs won three championships in a five year span, each NBA finals receiving terrible television ratings as fan interest dipped. Fans wanted to see the league's preeminent player and its greatest shot-maker but Kobe Bryant was nowhere to be found. There was only Tim Duncan left to bridge the gap and his maddening adherence to fundamentals, more maddening consistency and most maddening eye-bulging weren't going to get it done. Tim Duncan is the greatest power forward of all-time. Tim Duncan is not Kobe Bryant.
Meanwhile, in events unrelated to Kobe Bryant or the NBA's waning starpower, the league additionally suffered from exceedingly dubious officiating (see 2006 NBA Finals) and the Ron Artest Brawl in Detroit. Michael Jordan legitimized the NBA as a mainstream professional league but left a gigantic vacuum at the top of the league after his (perhaps premature) retirement. The next decade should have been about Kobe Bryant fulfilling his potential as Michael Jordan's heir (if not necessarily his equal) but Kobe was not up to the task. He may have started his career in promising fashion and consistently demonstrated his immense talent but Kobe's overall body of work was not consistent or successful enough to maintain the casual fan's interest throughout the 00s. The league struggled and there were whispers of the NBA falling back to a niche sport in the post-Jordan years. Since 1980 (Magic and Bird enter the league), the NBA has been steadily gaining popularity. Basketball emerged around the world as a sport that could catch on internationally in a way that football (and to some extent, baseball) never managed. But five years ago the NBA could not maintain interest in its' country of origin. What had happened? The circle of life had briefly failed the NBA. And now the aforementioned trip down memory lane is complete and we can move onto the actual post (yeah, five paragraphs in and we're just getting started)...
What is the common thread holding together the childhoods of all Generation Nexters? (I'd like to propose an official change to Generation Sexters but that's an issue for another time) Is it the brief but bizarre fascination with beanie babies? For everyone's sake I'm going to say no to that one. Is it the O.J. trial? Good guess, but not quite. The thread that has stood the test of time (or at least the past fifteen years) and pulls our generation together is...The Lion King. Nice. (Obviously. Circle of life reference last paragraph? Come on now. And what else is there...pogs?
Just like any great Disney movie, The Lion King reveals most of life's important lessons upon closer inspection. Never trust the creepy, menacing uncle because he probably has diabolic plans that center around your exile/death. Everyone needs a fat, funny, slightly gaseous sidekick. Meerkats are awesome. Hyenas? Not so much. Always try to avoid a thundering wildebeest stampede. Ooooh, my bad. Still too soon? Regardless of the value of these lessons, the most important message passed onto our generation from The Lion King centers around the circle of life. The strong rule the weak until they inevitably succumb to weakness themselves. This brings about a new generation of ruling strength and life continues in this fashion indefinitely (or at least until the end of the movie and its sequel). Like any great lesson, the circle of life applies to more than the jungle life of lions, hyenas, warthogs and Rafiki. So while the NBA only possesses passing similarities with the African jungle, the circle of life could not have been more evident last Thursday night at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland during the Lakers-Cavaliers game. Or as it was better known as...Kobe vs. LeBron!! Part II!!
Despite his many admirers and rather vehement supporters, Kobe now quite obviously plays second fiddle to LeBron James. James burst onto the scene as a nineteen year old rookie in 2003 and has produced historically good statistics every year since. But it took James a few years to realize his potential as a player, as opposed to that of an athlete. Something seemed to click after the 2007 season (a regular season that he noticeably coasted through) and James has been the best player in the league ever since his single-handed destruction of the Pistons' stranglehold on the Eastern Conference in Game 5 the 2007 Conference Finals. But despite LeBron's domination, the LeBron vs. Kobe debate rages on.
In a way it's understandable; LeBron vs. Kobe is the most compelling individual matchup and "rivalry" since Magic and Bird battled in the 1980s. They should go down as two of the greatest ten players of all-time (at worst) and both are leading championship contenders near their respective individual primes. They both play on the wing but frequently handle the ball to initiate the offense and have very well-rounded games on both ends of the floor. Though they share these similarities and would thus seem to draw comparisons naturally, the debate continues for only two reasons; the complete restoration of Kobe's public image and Lebron's lack of championship rings.
Just as LeBron was ready to ascend to the top of the NBA world (king of the jungle you might say), Pau Gasol fell into the Lakers' lap and suddenly Kobe went from being a pouting gunner demanding a trade away from his mediocre NBA team to a mature, unselfish leader on the eventual Western Conference champions. Of course, Kobe didn't significantly alter his game during this time and you'd be hard-pressed to argue he improved as a player but the public's perception of Kobe was hastily modified by the Lakers' success and that made all the difference. Kobe was very likely a lesser player in 2008 than in 2006 when Kobe controversially shot (approximately) 437 times per game and carried the worst supporting cast in the league (other starters were Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Luke Walton and Smush Parker) to 45 wins and a near playoff series victory over a very good Phoenix Suns team. But most of the media places a huge emphasis on winning (not saying that is a terrible approach but other factors need to be considered) and consequently champions receive more (and sometimes undue) praise than superstar leaders of 45-win teams. And when there is a drastic change in win totals (Lakers improved by fifteen wins) the media must attribute this improvement to something new and/or improved. Nearly all of that improvement came from Pau Gasol being (not approximation, actual fact) 437 times better than Kwame Brown but Kobe, being Kobe, received a bit too much credit just as he had previously received a bit too much blame. And because of all of this Kobe received the 2008 MVP award and held onto the unofficial status as "best player in the world," both titles that LeBron thought within his grasp.
Whether LeBron's 2008 playoff series loss to the Celtics was particularly hard to swallow or the Redeem Team experience (and the exposure to Kobe's work ethic) particularly enlightening, LeBron spent the next twelve months dominating the league in a fashion not seen since young, motivated Shaq or, dare I say it, another #23 from Chicago. He was the best player on the Redeem Team that won the gold medal over a more than competent Spain team. He improved his shooting both from the free throw line (71% to 78%) and three point line (31% to 35%) while exhibiting a new-found appreciation for defense. LeBron's most impressive plays during the 2008-2009 season were not dunks, but blocks like these on opposing teams' fast break opportunities. He led a Cavalier team with only two other above average players (Mo Williams and Anderson Varejao), neither of whom are close to all-NBA performers, to 66 regular season wins. LeBron deservedly won his first MVP award and went on to average 35-9-7-2-1 in the playoffs. But Cleveland could not find its' way past the Orlando Magic and the subsequent media whirlwind over LeBron's refusal to acknowledge the Magic after the loss (and later Nike's confiscation of this rather underwhelming tape) put a damper on an otherwise historic season. Plus, the elephant in the room was not exactly sitting there quietly. Kobe Bryant was making quite a bit of noise of his own.
LeBron was Team USA's best player and (self-dubbed) leader but Kobe Bryant (and Jason Kidd) set the tone for the entire team. It was Kobe who laid the groundwork for Olympic gold in the qualifying Tournament of the Americas with his suffocating defense on Leandro Barbosa. And when Spain closed to within five points during the fourth quarter of the gold medal game, it was Kobe (the best player in the fourth quarter) who converted the ridiculous four-point play to give the U.S.A. breathing room. The NBA's 2008-2009 regular season saw a similar progression of events. LeBron was the league's most outstanding player throughout but Kobe hoisted the NBA Finals MVP trophy and won his first title as the best player on a championship team. LeBron has (somehow) become an even more efficient player this season and the Cavaliers have the best record in the league (again). But of the three analysts on TNT's studio show, only Charles Barkley gave the nod to LeBron as the game's best player (and that is a relatively recent development). Despite LeBron's MVP award and continued excellence it seems as if the TNT show is fairly indicative of the overall LeBron-Kobe debate and each side has a similar number of advocates. While not quite a traveshamockery, that there is even a debate at all shortchanges LeBron's complete (since I'm already using made-up words) badassness. That is all about to change.
Kobe passed the torch last Thursday. There was a changing of the guard. If you have another saying that describes the transition feel free to insert it here. Kobe started off hot and finished with 31 points but shot only 4-15 on field goals in the second half. LeBron managed a very productive first half despite not hitting his jumpshot but found his stroke in the fourth quarter and scored twelve straight points (many coming on eighteen footers). LeBron's hot streak was not an aberration, merely a return toward the mean because *gulp* he is now a good shooter. He shoots better than Kobe from three and posts only slightly worse percentages from 16-23 feet. Is a healthy Kobe Bryant the second best player in the NBA? Probably. Perhaps definitely (despite what those advanced statistical metrics reveal) considering his improved post game makes him more efficient than in years past. Has Kobe Bryant ever been as good as LeBron James is right now? Probably not. James is the single greatest athlete in NBA history, boasts exceptional vision, has a good/serviceable jumpshot, can defend multiple positions and is a very good rebounder. So...ummm...that pretty much covers everything. LeBron can do more things, more efficiently than Kobe ever could and has shown he has the ability to lead a team, too (his teammates love him). What more could you want? Oh, right. A championship.
Following the game last week the stories circulating around the internet seemed to focus on Cleveland's front court production (despite the Lakers talent advantage at power forward and center) and how the physical presence of Varejao and Shaq brought the big man match-up to a standstill. A very good point and a tip of my hat to journalists everywhere. But if the supporting casts played evenly who does that leave? Kobe and LeBron. The two went mano-a-mano down the stretch and LeBron came out on top. While it's always dangerous to read too much into one game (Orlando swept the regular season series last year against the Lakers and were easily dispatched in the Finals), this game showed the likely result of any game in which Cleveland neutralizes L.A.'s front court advantage. If LeBron and Kobe trade punches in the fourth quarter, more often than not it will be the Lakers looking like this. The Lakers can still win the title but it won't be because of Kobe Bryant's utter brilliance. He is no longer the best player in the game and while there has been debate about that very subject I have a sneaking suspicion that debate will be over in six months. LeBron James is the best player in the game and will not be denied again.
During their stint as teammates on the Dream Team, Michael Jordan had a discussion with Larry Bird and Magic Johnson about the greatest player/teams of all-time. I use the word "discussion" loosely. MJ concluded the conversation by saying that the 80s were over and it was his time now, that when everything was said and done he would go down as the greatest player who ever lived. Jordan proved himself a prophet over the next seven years, vanquishing all comers who couldn't throw a curve ball. The circle of life continued. A new superstar emerged with a combination of skill, athleticism, intelligence and desire never seen before. Just as importantly, Jordan played an exciting brand of basketball and was charismatic off the court. He captured the average fan's interest and sent the NBA's popularity through the roof. When Jordan retired there were two heir apparents that might be able to mimic Jordan's career arc (though not surpass it) and help maintain the NBA's popularity. (NOTE: I'm excluding Duncan, Garnett and Shaq because only Shaq had the necessary charisma and no one likes rooting for Goliath) Allen Iverson proved to be too shot-happy and had too many tattoos to appeal to corporate America. Kobe Bryant was handsome, spoke Italian and played the game with both flash and a composure that belied his young years. Kobe couldn't quite put everything together but the circle of life moved on and LeBron emerged as the rightful heir to Jordan (if we're going strictly The Lion King and Mufasa-MJ and LeBron-Simba does that make Kobe-Scar? I incidentally managed to compare Kobe to both Dumbo and Scar in the same post...I am the worst Lakers fan ever).
What will the game's evolution bring us in twenty years? Dwight Howard with Hakeem Olajuwon's footwork? The yeti from NBA Street (:50 mark)? I don't know who will be ruling the NBA jungle in 2030 but I know it will be something special because the circle of life continues.
I don't know how LeBron's career will unfold but if he has Jordan set in his sights I don't know who will stop him from being in the same conversation with His Airness. Kobe has been MJ-lite but King James seems to have already overtaken the former Prince of L.A. As a Lakers fan, I find LeBron entitled, arrogant and a bit annoying. As a basketball fan I am giddy about his future. Maybe in June the pundits will look back six months and find the turning point in the season on a cold January night. For all we know it could be a turning point in league history. The debate is over. Kobe's time is over. The future belongs to LeBron.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Why I Care About The NBA...And Why You Should, Too
I hate the NBA. The players are selfish and only care about money. No one plays any defense. No one plays any offense, either. Teams simply run isolation plays for their best player and disregard ball movement. There are too many tattoos. Cornrows make men look like women. Why do players wear sleeves on their arms? I don't understand the game, anymore.
I wish I could watch basketball that was all about floor burns and diving into the first row. I wish I could watch teams unselfishly run a discernible offense. I wish I could watch legendary coaches become synonymous with one squad. I wish I could watch basketball in its' purest form. I wish I could watch basketball that seemed like one big shining moment.
I love college basketball. Why would I want to watch the NBA? College basketball has everything I need. I love the full court press. Who cares if ball pressure leads to (unorganized) chaos, numerous turnovers and exposes the (low) skill level of the college game? I love that college teams run a distinct offense. For example, Gary Williams runs the flex offense at Maryland. Announcers have been known to wax rhapsodic about its' effectiveness. You can't help but stand up and clap once a game when that back-pick on the baseline frees the cutter for an open lay-up. Who cares if that same offense often deteriorates into Greivis shooting contested jump shots? Who cares that half the time the ball finds it way inside Maryland doesn't come away with points because of poor finishing around the rim that plagues much of the college game? I love that college kids hustle; it displays heart, character and a love for the game. Who cares that the college game is a proving ground for future NBA players and many of those that lack the drive to succeed are weeded out before they reach the next level? Who cares that some of these kids coast because they are burnt out on basketball but it was the only way they could receive a college education? I love that the athletes aren't just basketball players but student-athletes, too. Who cares if the most talented players view college as a pit-stop before the NBA and only have to pass a semester's worth of classes? Who cares that some were offered money by boosters? Or that a few accepted those offers? Who cares that graduation rates among major-conference college basketball players are terrible and the game makes a mockery of the idea of the student-athlete? Who cares that these early entries have created weakened, inconsistent teams across the nation? I certainly don't. I love college basketball.
I have a confession to make. I don't hate the NBA. You may have been able to reason this out from the title of the post and all those rhetorical questions just now...but for all you idiots out there...I love the NBA. And while I'm not the biggest proponent of school spirit, I still enjoy college basketball. But when compared to the NBA there are only two aspects to college basketball that make it preferable to its' professional counterpart. The NCAA tournament is the perfect blend of gambling and mayhem and creates an excitement that borders on madness. A "March Madness," you might say. Also, the college atmosphere is preferable for watching a game (assuming you are in college) because it's far easier to get good seats and thousands of drunk kids always provide their own form of entertainment and excitement. As for the actual games...well there are reasons those kids are drunk and it's not just that a game provides a nice excuse to get bombed on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday (though that is probably most of it). The play is uneven and inconsistent. The game is played at a slower pace because of the longer shot clock and zone defenses (which also clogs the court defensively). Have you ever tried to sit through an entire Big Ten basketball game? It's almost as bad as watching the Big Ten get stampeded every winter during the college football bowl season (coming soon!). On an aesthetic level, the college game falls short. Way short.
The short version? You should care about the NBA because it's the best basketball around. And it's not close. Some say that the players don't work hard but NBA benches are filled with players who have separated themselves from those now playing in Europe or the D-League solely because of their hard work and determination. And the only way to become a superstar in the league is through the combination of God-given talent and dedication to the game of basketball. There are certainly players who coast or noticeably improve their games in contract years but that is true of any profession. It's no coincidence that upon entering the league small forwards suddenly extend their shooting range to the three-point line and rail-thin power forwards add twenty pounds of muscle to battle down low. Most players take their job very seriously, on both sides of the ball. Defenses became so organized and effective that the NBA took away the hand-check in an effort to increase scoring (which has indeed increased steadily since the 2003-2004 season that saw the borderline unwatchable Detroit Pistons win the championship). But the absence of the hand-check is not the only reason for increased scoring. The other reason is a very simple one; the NBA is flush with talent. The NBA is entering a Golden Age, of sorts. Older stars (Kobe, KG, Duncan, Nash, Dirk) have proven to still be near their peaks and the younger generation (LeBron, Carmelo, Wade, Paul, Howard, Durant, Deron Williams) has arrived in full-force. There are great players everywhere and, just as importantly, a group of great teams at the top of the league. Greatness abounds. And as we know (see last post), greatness is why we watch. The NBA exudes starpower but is that really any different than the other major sports?
March Madness is awesome and I wouldn't change anything about it but does it ensure that the best teams always play for the championship? Too often we see lopsided games late in the tournament where one team is hopelessly outmatched or simply plays poorly. The best team wins some of the time but you certainly can't say greatness is rewarded. To be honest, there are no longer any great college teams (UNC could have been last year if Ginyard was healthy and that was the closest anyone has come since the succession of Battier/Williams/Avery/Brand/James/Duhon/Dunleavy/Maggette/Boozer at Duke seven-twelve years ago). Early entry into the NBA draft has robbed the game of great teams (and oftentimes of great players).
The Major League Baseball playoffs are a complete crapshoot. Greatness certainly isn't rewarded there. The effect of great players is diminished, too. Albert Pujols can be pitched around completely during a playoff series and there is no guarantee the best players will even be in the playoffs. One player can only do so much in the game of baseball and the championship goes to the hottest/luckiest team in October.
Football is following in the footprints of MLB. The Colts won the Super Bowl in 2007 despite having better teams in a handful of other seasons. The Giants won the Super Bowl in 2008 even though the Patriots were one of the best teams ever assembled. The Cardinals made the Super Bowl last year. Enough said. The better teams have plenty of good players but what about the great ones? Chris Johnson is the most exciting player since Barry Sanders and probably won't even play in a wild card game. A great quarterback goes a long way in football but other than that...is greatness really rewarded?
Say what you want about the BCS but it has given us two national championship game classics since its' inception (Miami-OSU, USC-Texas) that would have never been possible otherwise. I'm all for a playoff system but at least the BCS rewards greatness (sometimes).
And that brings us to the NBA. You should care about the NBA because great players matter. Kobe Bryant carried the 2006 Lakers, a team that started Kwame Brown, Luke Walton and Smush Parker, to the playoffs (and within one Tim Thomas offensive rebound of a first-round series victory over the Suns). LeBron James carried the 2007 Cavaliers to the NBA Finals even though Boobie Gibson was the second most important player during the playoff run. Dwyane Wade somehow willed the Heat to the fifth seed in the East last year despite playing with...ummm...who is on that team again? Great players can make a difference even if they are surrounded by below-average players. More importantly, the team that wins the NBA championship almost always has one of the three best players in the league. The list of best players on a championship team since 1980-Magic, Moses Malone, Bird, Thomas, Jordan, Olajuwon, Shaq, Duncan, Wade, Garnett, Bryant (also Billups...dumb). This year is no different. Carmelo Anthony has been getting MVP talk because of his great scoring ability. But Carmelo Anthony will only put the Nuggets into the title hunt if he fulfills his potential as a great player (rebounding and assist rates have dropped, defense still inconsistent). Kobe Bryant and LeBron James are the best two players in the league. The Lakers and Cavs will be right there. Dwight Howard and Tim Duncan (still) are the two best big men in the league. The Magic and Spurs will be right there. The Celtics will need Kevin Garnett to regain a lot (if not all) of his former production to capture the championship. There are only ten players on the court at once. Great players affect the game of basketball more than any other sport. And that is for the better. I don't want to see Joe Johnson lead the Hawks to the NBA finals. I want to see LeBron, Kobe and Wade add to their resumes and display their skills come playoff time. And that happens in the NBA.
There were supposed to be four super-teams this season (Orlando, Boston, LA, Cleveland). None of these teams have lived up to lofty preseason expectations but that is more indicative of injuries/suspensions and the depth of the NBA this year (everybody has talent). The less than gaudy records do not change the fact that there should be four great teams in the playoffs this May (barring injury). And the Nuggets (more consistency, another big man) and Spurs (if anyone other than Duncan starts producing at normal levels) both have the potential to reach that point by the end of the season. Last year the Lakers won the NBA championship. This year they added an All-Star center (Bynum) and improved play from the bench (Farmar, Brown). Last year the Magic won the East. They upgraded their point guard position (Nelson/Williams) and added depth at every position. The Celtics have KG again (who is starting to get his legs back) and Rondo and Perkins continue to improve. The bench will be better, too, once Glen Davis comes back from injury. The Cavs aren't any better (they did win 66 games last year) but still have the single greatest weapon (by far) in any seven-game series-45 or 46 minutes per game from LeBron James. If the Spurs are healthy (and Parker and Ginobili are productive), they have the most balanced team of the Tim Duncan era. The Nuggets nearly beat the Lakers last spring and Carmelo has taken his offensive game to another level (plus addition of Lawson and more JR Smith/no Linas Kleiza). The playoffs will be fascinating and full of great match-ups and outstanding performances. But that is not why you should care about the NBA. You should care about the NBA because we will know who the best team is in June. Not the luckiest or the streakiest...the best. Injuries can play a factor and certain match-ups are bad for certain teams but the best team wins the NBA championship nearly every year. And in today's sports world that is surprisingly refreshing.
NOTE: There was no proofreading or organization to this post. I apologize if the run-on sentences made your head hurt (just trying to even the playing field). Or if my point got lost somewhere around paragraph seven. Quick recap. NBA-good. Lots of great players in their primes at the moment-good. Great players dominate the game-what I want to see. Best team wins-cool. Nice.
I wish I could watch basketball that was all about floor burns and diving into the first row. I wish I could watch teams unselfishly run a discernible offense. I wish I could watch legendary coaches become synonymous with one squad. I wish I could watch basketball in its' purest form. I wish I could watch basketball that seemed like one big shining moment.
I love college basketball. Why would I want to watch the NBA? College basketball has everything I need. I love the full court press. Who cares if ball pressure leads to (unorganized) chaos, numerous turnovers and exposes the (low) skill level of the college game? I love that college teams run a distinct offense. For example, Gary Williams runs the flex offense at Maryland. Announcers have been known to wax rhapsodic about its' effectiveness. You can't help but stand up and clap once a game when that back-pick on the baseline frees the cutter for an open lay-up. Who cares if that same offense often deteriorates into Greivis shooting contested jump shots? Who cares that half the time the ball finds it way inside Maryland doesn't come away with points because of poor finishing around the rim that plagues much of the college game? I love that college kids hustle; it displays heart, character and a love for the game. Who cares that the college game is a proving ground for future NBA players and many of those that lack the drive to succeed are weeded out before they reach the next level? Who cares that some of these kids coast because they are burnt out on basketball but it was the only way they could receive a college education? I love that the athletes aren't just basketball players but student-athletes, too. Who cares if the most talented players view college as a pit-stop before the NBA and only have to pass a semester's worth of classes? Who cares that some were offered money by boosters? Or that a few accepted those offers? Who cares that graduation rates among major-conference college basketball players are terrible and the game makes a mockery of the idea of the student-athlete? Who cares that these early entries have created weakened, inconsistent teams across the nation? I certainly don't. I love college basketball.
I have a confession to make. I don't hate the NBA. You may have been able to reason this out from the title of the post and all those rhetorical questions just now...but for all you idiots out there...I love the NBA. And while I'm not the biggest proponent of school spirit, I still enjoy college basketball. But when compared to the NBA there are only two aspects to college basketball that make it preferable to its' professional counterpart. The NCAA tournament is the perfect blend of gambling and mayhem and creates an excitement that borders on madness. A "March Madness," you might say. Also, the college atmosphere is preferable for watching a game (assuming you are in college) because it's far easier to get good seats and thousands of drunk kids always provide their own form of entertainment and excitement. As for the actual games...well there are reasons those kids are drunk and it's not just that a game provides a nice excuse to get bombed on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday (though that is probably most of it). The play is uneven and inconsistent. The game is played at a slower pace because of the longer shot clock and zone defenses (which also clogs the court defensively). Have you ever tried to sit through an entire Big Ten basketball game? It's almost as bad as watching the Big Ten get stampeded every winter during the college football bowl season (coming soon!). On an aesthetic level, the college game falls short. Way short.
The short version? You should care about the NBA because it's the best basketball around. And it's not close. Some say that the players don't work hard but NBA benches are filled with players who have separated themselves from those now playing in Europe or the D-League solely because of their hard work and determination. And the only way to become a superstar in the league is through the combination of God-given talent and dedication to the game of basketball. There are certainly players who coast or noticeably improve their games in contract years but that is true of any profession. It's no coincidence that upon entering the league small forwards suddenly extend their shooting range to the three-point line and rail-thin power forwards add twenty pounds of muscle to battle down low. Most players take their job very seriously, on both sides of the ball. Defenses became so organized and effective that the NBA took away the hand-check in an effort to increase scoring (which has indeed increased steadily since the 2003-2004 season that saw the borderline unwatchable Detroit Pistons win the championship). But the absence of the hand-check is not the only reason for increased scoring. The other reason is a very simple one; the NBA is flush with talent. The NBA is entering a Golden Age, of sorts. Older stars (Kobe, KG, Duncan, Nash, Dirk) have proven to still be near their peaks and the younger generation (LeBron, Carmelo, Wade, Paul, Howard, Durant, Deron Williams) has arrived in full-force. There are great players everywhere and, just as importantly, a group of great teams at the top of the league. Greatness abounds. And as we know (see last post), greatness is why we watch. The NBA exudes starpower but is that really any different than the other major sports?
March Madness is awesome and I wouldn't change anything about it but does it ensure that the best teams always play for the championship? Too often we see lopsided games late in the tournament where one team is hopelessly outmatched or simply plays poorly. The best team wins some of the time but you certainly can't say greatness is rewarded. To be honest, there are no longer any great college teams (UNC could have been last year if Ginyard was healthy and that was the closest anyone has come since the succession of Battier/Williams/Avery/Brand/James/Duhon/Dunleavy/Maggette/Boozer at Duke seven-twelve years ago). Early entry into the NBA draft has robbed the game of great teams (and oftentimes of great players).
The Major League Baseball playoffs are a complete crapshoot. Greatness certainly isn't rewarded there. The effect of great players is diminished, too. Albert Pujols can be pitched around completely during a playoff series and there is no guarantee the best players will even be in the playoffs. One player can only do so much in the game of baseball and the championship goes to the hottest/luckiest team in October.
Football is following in the footprints of MLB. The Colts won the Super Bowl in 2007 despite having better teams in a handful of other seasons. The Giants won the Super Bowl in 2008 even though the Patriots were one of the best teams ever assembled. The Cardinals made the Super Bowl last year. Enough said. The better teams have plenty of good players but what about the great ones? Chris Johnson is the most exciting player since Barry Sanders and probably won't even play in a wild card game. A great quarterback goes a long way in football but other than that...is greatness really rewarded?
Say what you want about the BCS but it has given us two national championship game classics since its' inception (Miami-OSU, USC-Texas) that would have never been possible otherwise. I'm all for a playoff system but at least the BCS rewards greatness (sometimes).
And that brings us to the NBA. You should care about the NBA because great players matter. Kobe Bryant carried the 2006 Lakers, a team that started Kwame Brown, Luke Walton and Smush Parker, to the playoffs (and within one Tim Thomas offensive rebound of a first-round series victory over the Suns). LeBron James carried the 2007 Cavaliers to the NBA Finals even though Boobie Gibson was the second most important player during the playoff run. Dwyane Wade somehow willed the Heat to the fifth seed in the East last year despite playing with...ummm...who is on that team again? Great players can make a difference even if they are surrounded by below-average players. More importantly, the team that wins the NBA championship almost always has one of the three best players in the league. The list of best players on a championship team since 1980-Magic, Moses Malone, Bird, Thomas, Jordan, Olajuwon, Shaq, Duncan, Wade, Garnett, Bryant (also Billups...dumb). This year is no different. Carmelo Anthony has been getting MVP talk because of his great scoring ability. But Carmelo Anthony will only put the Nuggets into the title hunt if he fulfills his potential as a great player (rebounding and assist rates have dropped, defense still inconsistent). Kobe Bryant and LeBron James are the best two players in the league. The Lakers and Cavs will be right there. Dwight Howard and Tim Duncan (still) are the two best big men in the league. The Magic and Spurs will be right there. The Celtics will need Kevin Garnett to regain a lot (if not all) of his former production to capture the championship. There are only ten players on the court at once. Great players affect the game of basketball more than any other sport. And that is for the better. I don't want to see Joe Johnson lead the Hawks to the NBA finals. I want to see LeBron, Kobe and Wade add to their resumes and display their skills come playoff time. And that happens in the NBA.
There were supposed to be four super-teams this season (Orlando, Boston, LA, Cleveland). None of these teams have lived up to lofty preseason expectations but that is more indicative of injuries/suspensions and the depth of the NBA this year (everybody has talent). The less than gaudy records do not change the fact that there should be four great teams in the playoffs this May (barring injury). And the Nuggets (more consistency, another big man) and Spurs (if anyone other than Duncan starts producing at normal levels) both have the potential to reach that point by the end of the season. Last year the Lakers won the NBA championship. This year they added an All-Star center (Bynum) and improved play from the bench (Farmar, Brown). Last year the Magic won the East. They upgraded their point guard position (Nelson/Williams) and added depth at every position. The Celtics have KG again (who is starting to get his legs back) and Rondo and Perkins continue to improve. The bench will be better, too, once Glen Davis comes back from injury. The Cavs aren't any better (they did win 66 games last year) but still have the single greatest weapon (by far) in any seven-game series-45 or 46 minutes per game from LeBron James. If the Spurs are healthy (and Parker and Ginobili are productive), they have the most balanced team of the Tim Duncan era. The Nuggets nearly beat the Lakers last spring and Carmelo has taken his offensive game to another level (plus addition of Lawson and more JR Smith/no Linas Kleiza). The playoffs will be fascinating and full of great match-ups and outstanding performances. But that is not why you should care about the NBA. You should care about the NBA because we will know who the best team is in June. Not the luckiest or the streakiest...the best. Injuries can play a factor and certain match-ups are bad for certain teams but the best team wins the NBA championship nearly every year. And in today's sports world that is surprisingly refreshing.
NOTE: There was no proofreading or organization to this post. I apologize if the run-on sentences made your head hurt (just trying to even the playing field). Or if my point got lost somewhere around paragraph seven. Quick recap. NBA-good. Lots of great players in their primes at the moment-good. Great players dominate the game-what I want to see. Best team wins-cool. Nice.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Is Greatness Even A Word?
This is a post about why you are lucky to be a sports fan in 2009 but it’s not about ESPN, the abundance of entertaining sports blogs, ESPN2, espn.com, YouTube, ESPNU or ESPNdeportes. This is a post about an underrated aspect of following sports during the new millennium but it’s not about fantasy football or HDTV. This is a post about the future of sports but it’s not about emerging advanced statistics that allow every fan to be a more intelligent fan (though considering most message board postings follow the lines of "bLack MamBA iz da best eva!! LebRon sux!! KOBE IS BETTA DEN MJ!!@!!11!" maybe the absorption of this information is not exactly ideal). This is a post about Tiger Woods but it’s not about his 16 (and counting) mistresses or his wife’s remarkable Nordic strength. This is a post about why you follow sports, not how you follow them. This is a post to remind you why you are here (as a sports fan, not in any metaphysical sense…sorry to disappoint).
The Los Angeles Lakers are my favorite sports team. The current roster has the capability to win the NBA championship this year and the high end potential of this team is becoming one of the two best teams in the post-Jordan era. The Lakers are 10-0 with Pau Gasol in the lineup and have not only been dominating but playing a beautiful brand of basketball. They play an uptempo game with balanced scoring, good ball movement and (so far) exceptional defense. But two of the three biggest stories of the year have been Lamar Odom's marriage to Khloe Kardashian and Ron Artest's admission (and subsequent backpedaling) of drinking Hennessey during halftime of games early in his career (Pau Gasol's hamstring is the third). This isn't even surprising because it's been a long time since the biggest sports stories had anything to do with the actual games. You can go back to the 2001 Shaq/Kobe Lakers (the current titleholders of best NBA team post-Jordan) who will be remembered for their off-court feuding as much as their basketball. Tiger Woods is the richest athlete of all-time, filmed one of the great Nike commercials (and that is saying something), single-handedly turned golf into a watchable sport and...well...is Tiger Freaking Woods but that will be overshadowed for the foreseeable future by his "transgressions." Michael Vick was a unique talent at the quarterback position, handed the Packers their first home loss in playoff history and had the potential to revolutionize the game of football but will be remembered more for serving time in prison for dogfighting. Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds shattered home run records and helped revitalize the game of baseball but may never make the Hall of Fame due to their own steroid-related transgressions. Bill Belichick won three Super Bowls as a head coach but SpyGate will stand the test of time, too. We love building athletes up nearly as much as we love tearing them down and in this TMZ driven world that is a dangerous combination. The stories and the controversies and the drama and the off-court/field/course shenanigans often overshadow the game. All of these scandals bring non-sports fans into the fold and provide endless fodder for the media seeking to maintain interest during the current 24-hours a day news cycle. The scandals may dominate dinner conversation but that is not why you are here.
Kobe Bryant is my favorite athlete. Kobe Bryant is one of the best ten basketball players of all-time and the original reason for my Lakers worship. Kobe Bryant is no different than any of the aforementioned athletes. The feud with Shaq and Phil Jackson broke up a potential Lakers dynasty and rape charges in 2003 nearly tarnished his career in the public eye beyond repair. In recent years he has (remarkably) put these issues behind him (somewhat) but even now can't escape inane, irrational and infuriating LeBron vs. Kobe arguments that seem to flair up whenever two NBA fans engage in an otherwise reasonable, rational conversation. Despite all of this I still love Kobe Bryant as a basketball player. It is not particularly hard to distance Kobe Bryant the basketball player from Kobe Bryant the person. We share a profound interest in his (and his team's) success even though I cannot relate to Kobe Bryant in any way beyond that. He is a 6’6’’ black man who has won an MVP, the NBA Dunk Contest and four NBA championships. His hobbies include ripping out the hearts of Portland basketball fans and rapping…badly(who said we had nothing in common!?). He grew up in Italy, speaks multiple languages and was the Prince of L.A. before he was twenty years old. He has been in the public eye since he was seventeen when he took Brandy to his high school prom. That…umm…quality… of girl was a bit out of my league as a high school senior (no offense Isabel but Moesha is Moesha). For all intensive purposes, Kobe lives on a different planet. There was not always such a divide between fan and star. There was a time when NBA stars mingled with us common folk in the offseason. They needed second jobs during the summer just to earn a decent living. The journalists covering the team rode the same trains as the athletes. They spent time together and shared meals. And through more personalized interaction and the reporters’ direct access, fans were given glimpses into their favorite athlete’s lives. It was a time before prepared statements, handlers, private planes, PR men and gated communities. Fans were even allowed to rush the field during momentous occasions. I am not complaining about either development, merely commenting on the ever widening gap (both emotional and physical) between fans and their heroes. Athletes have the same right to privacy as everybody else and no one needs rabid fans in close quarters with the players. Take a look at Hank Aaron’s record-breaking home run from 1974. He had just passed Babe Ruth as the all-time home run leader and two fans found their way onto the field to celebrate his accomplishment. But Hank Aaron had received death threats during his chase of Babe Ruth’s record (Babe Ruth-white, Hank Aaron-not). What happens if the guys looking to shake Aaron’s hand happened to be less congratulatory and more of the deranged, racist type? It’s scary. Ask Monica Seles. Or Ron Artest. Sports have changed. It has become more corporate and less personal (coughMJcoughcough). Expansion reduces the impact of regional rivalries. Free agency makes it harder to identify with teams. Socioeconomic differences may make it harder to identify with players. The present day fan may find it hard to relate, to find that personal connection that keeps them interested. It will not be Kobe Bryant providing that connection. Underdogs provide that connection.
What do you think of when you think of great underdog stories? The most famous individual story may be Michael Jordan getting cut from his high school varsity as a sophomore. Jordan was still very highly regarded by his coaches, starred for JV and put on such scoring displays that the JV games became as popular as the varsity contests that followed but those facts get lost in the mythology of MJ. Michael Jordan managed to cultivate an underdog mentality (through this story as well as others and his long list of mostly perceived slights) despite always having been a great player and never truly venturing into underdog territory (baseball escapades excluded). Jordan shows that it does not matter if the underdog status is justified or merely perceived, only that the fans feel some sort of link. It is this link that gives fans the ability to relate to athletes in a sports world full of tattoos, hypocrisy, scandal and out-of touch players. Steve Nash has world-class hand-eye coordination, deceptive speed, phenomenal instincts and his agility is the C.E.O of the United Global Agility Corporation but fans see a short, scrawny guy with bad hair and they find themselves relating with Nash (okay okay…also he is white). Tom Brady couldn't secure the starting job At Michigan, was a sixth round draft choice and comes across as "one of us" in interviews with his sense of humor and everyman attitude (okay okay...also he is white). You can root for (or worship) Tom Brady. Yao Ming might be 7’6’’ but he is also Chinese! Remarkable. Just kidding, I have been tooled on by enough Asians to know that they are legit and China is going to win the 2024 Olympic gold in men’s basketball. There are more players than I care to list that have made it out of rough neighborhoods or have persevered through bleak times (I was a big Juan Dixon fan as a kid). Underdog stories are everywhere. Underdog stories are those of a washed-up high school baseball coach re-discovering a 98 mph fastball and making a major league appearance as a 35 year old rookie (The Rookie). Underdog stories are those of two inner city kids earning a college education through basketball scholarships despite ninety minute commutes, deadbeat dads and ACL injuries (Hoop Dreams). Underdog stories are those of…wait for it…wait for it…college hockey players defeating the greatest hockey team ever assembled in a politically charged Olympic game (Miracle). I had to get it in there. Underdog stories make millions at the box office. Underdog stories provide new sources of inspiration and keep the sports scene fresh. Underdog stories keep you coming back for more but the underdog story is not why you are here. You are here because of greatness.
In the grand scheme of things underdog stories are like Tamagotchis, Harold Miner and witch burning, just flashes in their respective pans. The only underdogs that stand the test of time are the ones that exhibit greatness themselves (Hoosiers) or the ones that upset a truly great team (Giants over Patriots Super Bowl XLII) The stories are nice but they come a dime a dozen, each a slight variation on the last. Greatness pushes boundaries and explores new territory. That is the only way greatness can survive. What came before must be topped. Darwin may not have had professional sports in mind when he was studying his finches but we have an athletic evolution on our hands. In just the past five years we have had the privilege of watching the greatest golfer, swimmer, sprinter and tennis player perform in their primes.(NOTE: I saw each of these events live and they were all breathtaking.) Even NASCAR
has Jimmie Johnson, he of the unprecedented four straight championships. Individual sports have never seen such an influx of dominating athletes peaking simultaneously. This trend similarly extends to the major sports. Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Brett Favre are all performing at a high level and they should go down as three of the top five quarterbacks of all-time. Who knows what Chris Johnson will do? Michael Jordan only retired five years ago after shattering our preconceived notions about the limits of a basketball player but already Kobe Bryant and LeBron James have shown the potential (if not the actual ability) to match MJ's prodigious exploits. Dirk Nowitzki is the best shooter of all-time among big men, Chris Paul will go down as the greatest small guard in history (barring injury) and Kevin Durant was put on this earth to score a basketball. The game evolves and the players follow suit. The steroid cloud hangs over baseball but Albert Pujols (assuming he is clean) is on pace to become the greatest right-handed hitter of all-time. The list goes on because it does not matter where you look. Wherever you look, you will find greatness.
I cannot find any personal connection with Kobe Bryant but Kobe Bryant is why I am here. I am a sports fan because I love watching Kobe make the impossible look routine. I am a sports fan because LeBron James makes the simple act of running down a basketball court look incredible. His long strides cover so much ground, so quickly it is nearly as intoxicating as a Shakira music video. LeBron does not run; he lopes. I am a sports fan because Ichiro's hand-eye coordination is unfathomable. I am a sports fan because Chris Johnson is very, very fast. I am a sports fan because Usain Bolt is even faster. I am not here for the stories. I am here for the athletes. That's why we are all here but sometimes we forget that. Sports fans have never had it better. The athletes are truly bigger, faster and stronger. They dedicate themselves to their crafts and it shows in their performance. So next time you read about a former porn star telling the world of her tryst with Tiger Woods, remember why it matters. It matters not because Tiger Woods' business is any of yours or that he failed to meet the public's standards. It matters because Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer who has ever teed it up. It matters because Tiger Woods is great.
The Los Angeles Lakers are my favorite sports team. The current roster has the capability to win the NBA championship this year and the high end potential of this team is becoming one of the two best teams in the post-Jordan era. The Lakers are 10-0 with Pau Gasol in the lineup and have not only been dominating but playing a beautiful brand of basketball. They play an uptempo game with balanced scoring, good ball movement and (so far) exceptional defense. But two of the three biggest stories of the year have been Lamar Odom's marriage to Khloe Kardashian and Ron Artest's admission (and subsequent backpedaling) of drinking Hennessey during halftime of games early in his career (Pau Gasol's hamstring is the third). This isn't even surprising because it's been a long time since the biggest sports stories had anything to do with the actual games. You can go back to the 2001 Shaq/Kobe Lakers (the current titleholders of best NBA team post-Jordan) who will be remembered for their off-court feuding as much as their basketball. Tiger Woods is the richest athlete of all-time, filmed one of the great Nike commercials (and that is saying something), single-handedly turned golf into a watchable sport and...well...is Tiger Freaking Woods but that will be overshadowed for the foreseeable future by his "transgressions." Michael Vick was a unique talent at the quarterback position, handed the Packers their first home loss in playoff history and had the potential to revolutionize the game of football but will be remembered more for serving time in prison for dogfighting. Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds shattered home run records and helped revitalize the game of baseball but may never make the Hall of Fame due to their own steroid-related transgressions. Bill Belichick won three Super Bowls as a head coach but SpyGate will stand the test of time, too. We love building athletes up nearly as much as we love tearing them down and in this TMZ driven world that is a dangerous combination. The stories and the controversies and the drama and the off-court/field/course shenanigans often overshadow the game. All of these scandals bring non-sports fans into the fold and provide endless fodder for the media seeking to maintain interest during the current 24-hours a day news cycle. The scandals may dominate dinner conversation but that is not why you are here.
Kobe Bryant is my favorite athlete. Kobe Bryant is one of the best ten basketball players of all-time and the original reason for my Lakers worship. Kobe Bryant is no different than any of the aforementioned athletes. The feud with Shaq and Phil Jackson broke up a potential Lakers dynasty and rape charges in 2003 nearly tarnished his career in the public eye beyond repair. In recent years he has (remarkably) put these issues behind him (somewhat) but even now can't escape inane, irrational and infuriating LeBron vs. Kobe arguments that seem to flair up whenever two NBA fans engage in an otherwise reasonable, rational conversation. Despite all of this I still love Kobe Bryant as a basketball player. It is not particularly hard to distance Kobe Bryant the basketball player from Kobe Bryant the person. We share a profound interest in his (and his team's) success even though I cannot relate to Kobe Bryant in any way beyond that. He is a 6’6’’ black man who has won an MVP, the NBA Dunk Contest and four NBA championships. His hobbies include ripping out the hearts of Portland basketball fans and rapping…badly(who said we had nothing in common!?). He grew up in Italy, speaks multiple languages and was the Prince of L.A. before he was twenty years old. He has been in the public eye since he was seventeen when he took Brandy to his high school prom. That…umm…quality… of girl was a bit out of my league as a high school senior (no offense Isabel but Moesha is Moesha). For all intensive purposes, Kobe lives on a different planet. There was not always such a divide between fan and star. There was a time when NBA stars mingled with us common folk in the offseason. They needed second jobs during the summer just to earn a decent living. The journalists covering the team rode the same trains as the athletes. They spent time together and shared meals. And through more personalized interaction and the reporters’ direct access, fans were given glimpses into their favorite athlete’s lives. It was a time before prepared statements, handlers, private planes, PR men and gated communities. Fans were even allowed to rush the field during momentous occasions. I am not complaining about either development, merely commenting on the ever widening gap (both emotional and physical) between fans and their heroes. Athletes have the same right to privacy as everybody else and no one needs rabid fans in close quarters with the players. Take a look at Hank Aaron’s record-breaking home run from 1974. He had just passed Babe Ruth as the all-time home run leader and two fans found their way onto the field to celebrate his accomplishment. But Hank Aaron had received death threats during his chase of Babe Ruth’s record (Babe Ruth-white, Hank Aaron-not). What happens if the guys looking to shake Aaron’s hand happened to be less congratulatory and more of the deranged, racist type? It’s scary. Ask Monica Seles. Or Ron Artest. Sports have changed. It has become more corporate and less personal (coughMJcoughcough). Expansion reduces the impact of regional rivalries. Free agency makes it harder to identify with teams. Socioeconomic differences may make it harder to identify with players. The present day fan may find it hard to relate, to find that personal connection that keeps them interested. It will not be Kobe Bryant providing that connection. Underdogs provide that connection.
What do you think of when you think of great underdog stories? The most famous individual story may be Michael Jordan getting cut from his high school varsity as a sophomore. Jordan was still very highly regarded by his coaches, starred for JV and put on such scoring displays that the JV games became as popular as the varsity contests that followed but those facts get lost in the mythology of MJ. Michael Jordan managed to cultivate an underdog mentality (through this story as well as others and his long list of mostly perceived slights) despite always having been a great player and never truly venturing into underdog territory (baseball escapades excluded). Jordan shows that it does not matter if the underdog status is justified or merely perceived, only that the fans feel some sort of link. It is this link that gives fans the ability to relate to athletes in a sports world full of tattoos, hypocrisy, scandal and out-of touch players. Steve Nash has world-class hand-eye coordination, deceptive speed, phenomenal instincts and his agility is the C.E.O of the United Global Agility Corporation but fans see a short, scrawny guy with bad hair and they find themselves relating with Nash (okay okay…also he is white). Tom Brady couldn't secure the starting job At Michigan, was a sixth round draft choice and comes across as "one of us" in interviews with his sense of humor and everyman attitude (okay okay...also he is white). You can root for (or worship) Tom Brady. Yao Ming might be 7’6’’ but he is also Chinese! Remarkable. Just kidding, I have been tooled on by enough Asians to know that they are legit and China is going to win the 2024 Olympic gold in men’s basketball. There are more players than I care to list that have made it out of rough neighborhoods or have persevered through bleak times (I was a big Juan Dixon fan as a kid). Underdog stories are everywhere. Underdog stories are those of a washed-up high school baseball coach re-discovering a 98 mph fastball and making a major league appearance as a 35 year old rookie (The Rookie). Underdog stories are those of two inner city kids earning a college education through basketball scholarships despite ninety minute commutes, deadbeat dads and ACL injuries (Hoop Dreams). Underdog stories are those of…wait for it…wait for it…college hockey players defeating the greatest hockey team ever assembled in a politically charged Olympic game (Miracle). I had to get it in there. Underdog stories make millions at the box office. Underdog stories provide new sources of inspiration and keep the sports scene fresh. Underdog stories keep you coming back for more but the underdog story is not why you are here. You are here because of greatness.
In the grand scheme of things underdog stories are like Tamagotchis, Harold Miner and witch burning, just flashes in their respective pans. The only underdogs that stand the test of time are the ones that exhibit greatness themselves (Hoosiers) or the ones that upset a truly great team (Giants over Patriots Super Bowl XLII) The stories are nice but they come a dime a dozen, each a slight variation on the last. Greatness pushes boundaries and explores new territory. That is the only way greatness can survive. What came before must be topped. Darwin may not have had professional sports in mind when he was studying his finches but we have an athletic evolution on our hands. In just the past five years we have had the privilege of watching the greatest golfer, swimmer, sprinter and tennis player perform in their primes.(NOTE: I saw each of these events live and they were all breathtaking.) Even NASCAR
has Jimmie Johnson, he of the unprecedented four straight championships. Individual sports have never seen such an influx of dominating athletes peaking simultaneously. This trend similarly extends to the major sports. Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Brett Favre are all performing at a high level and they should go down as three of the top five quarterbacks of all-time. Who knows what Chris Johnson will do? Michael Jordan only retired five years ago after shattering our preconceived notions about the limits of a basketball player but already Kobe Bryant and LeBron James have shown the potential (if not the actual ability) to match MJ's prodigious exploits. Dirk Nowitzki is the best shooter of all-time among big men, Chris Paul will go down as the greatest small guard in history (barring injury) and Kevin Durant was put on this earth to score a basketball. The game evolves and the players follow suit. The steroid cloud hangs over baseball but Albert Pujols (assuming he is clean) is on pace to become the greatest right-handed hitter of all-time. The list goes on because it does not matter where you look. Wherever you look, you will find greatness.
I cannot find any personal connection with Kobe Bryant but Kobe Bryant is why I am here. I am a sports fan because I love watching Kobe make the impossible look routine. I am a sports fan because LeBron James makes the simple act of running down a basketball court look incredible. His long strides cover so much ground, so quickly it is nearly as intoxicating as a Shakira music video. LeBron does not run; he lopes. I am a sports fan because Ichiro's hand-eye coordination is unfathomable. I am a sports fan because Chris Johnson is very, very fast. I am a sports fan because Usain Bolt is even faster. I am not here for the stories. I am here for the athletes. That's why we are all here but sometimes we forget that. Sports fans have never had it better. The athletes are truly bigger, faster and stronger. They dedicate themselves to their crafts and it shows in their performance. So next time you read about a former porn star telling the world of her tryst with Tiger Woods, remember why it matters. It matters not because Tiger Woods' business is any of yours or that he failed to meet the public's standards. It matters because Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer who has ever teed it up. It matters because Tiger Woods is great.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Reason #31 China Will Rule the 21st Century- American Popular Music
Pre-Post NOTE: I would like to offer my humblest (not saying too much i guess) apologies to the former crews of Reading Rainbow and Wishbone. I left both shows out of my pantheon of great educational entertainment and that was inexcusable. My bad.
Post-Pre-Post NOTE: How awesome is LeVar Burton? He created/hosted Reading Rainbow. He was Geordi La Forge on Stark Trek:The Next Generation but that was preceded by an even more epic role voicing Kwame (Earth) on Captain Planet. And, of course, who could forget his portrayal ofToby Kunta Kinte in Roots? Oh, slavery. Good times. Just kidding, three thirty black friends. Anyway...
It looks like we have ourselves another post. And another non-sports post, at that. I'm posting regularly while minorities are outnumbering good ol' white folk at the water park? Well played, Mayans, well played. The end of the world certainly draws near. My favorite part of this video is the talking missiles. I don't know why. My second favorite part is the French accent while the Japanese flag in the background of the Chinese portion of the clip rounds out my top three. The American educational system, for the win! While the academic performance of America's children (below average) is certainly reason to worry, this post will be addressing an issue far more dire. It is a disease that seeps into the brain of every child, tween, teenager and even the occasional college student (here's looking at you, kid). It's an airborne virus that spreads rapidly and children are at a much greater risk than adults. That makes it pretty much exactly like the swine flu...except unlike H1N1, the B52 is actually quite dangerous. It is the virus of dumb pop music.
Haven't heard of the B52? I guess I'll take a moment to fill you in. The B52 is named after the New Wave rock group that emerged from Georgia in the late 1970s and unleashed the full-fledged virus upon the world with "Rock Lobster." Bow Wow Wow and Wham! kept the virus alive in the 1980s with a cover of "I Want Candy" and "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go," respectively, but this was merely a precursor to the 1990s when things really escalated quickly.
I remember like it was yesterday. Hanson and Ricky Martin. The Spice Girls. Sisqo and Crazytown. Every boy and every girl! Shake your bon bon, shake your bon bon. People of the world! Let me see that thongggg. Slam me to the left! Cause you're my butterfly, sugar, baby. Shake it to the right! Life in plastic...it's fantastic. Spice up your life! Mmm bop. (Don't lie. You were singing along with Aqua. And probably Hanson, too. I'll stop here for everyone's sake). Hanson (profoundly) sings "In an Mmm bop they're gone." I would like to respectfully disagree with Isaac, Tyler and Zac. I could say that these songs will leave my head tomorrow but that's simply not true...they will be with me For. Ev. Er. And that's the whole point of this post (I knew we'd get there eventually). How many catchy melodies rattle through your head? How many dumb choruses float around inside that brain of yours? Why do you still know every word of "All-Star" by Smashmouth? Because you had a contest with your sister over who could memorize the song first? Well, that's just dumb (but I won so take that Casey). Kids really should play outside more.
NOTE: Nice Dane Cook cameo at the beginning of the "All-Star" video (it's from the movie Mystery Men). He hadn't yet learned that the key to comedy is a lot of yelling and spastic body movements. What's that now? That's not the key to comedy?? But Dane Cook is a massively successful stand-up comic! That has to be the key. Very odd. I guess it's a good thing we have Family Guy to explain things.
You may think that pop music could sink no lower than Hanson but kids these days have it no better. I don't know if Darwin had this exact scenario in mind while he was studying his finches, coming to his conclusions about the survival of the fittest and suffering from severe headaches (it's true and for those of you not paying attention I am implying I am the next Darwin) but pop music continually evolves in order to thrive consistently. The beats get catchier and the songs get dumber. Jeremiah is offering birthday sex. Fergie really likes to spell things. Soulja Boy had to go and compound the problem by creating a dance to complement his ridiculous song. And it was a dance so simple that even white people could (almost) pull it off. Soulja Boy, I only have one thing to tell you...you're a jerk. And we haven't even gotten to Miley Cyrus yet...maybe we should just move on again...
After extensive research (one Google search and some brief Wikipedia browsing), I have determined that China doesn't have the same problem. After all, this is the nation of Yo Yo Ma! There are some notable exceptions but basic love songs make up a lot of China's popular music (C-pop for short). Oddly enough, Chinese rap is abbreviated to C-rap. I didn't know Soulja Boy had created his own genre (ohhhhhhhh). Anyway, Jay Chou appears to be the artist that makes all the girls go wild (which gives him something in common with the Jonas Brothers that way) but he appears reasonable enough. It appears that Chinese children can only rely on American music to slowly erode all semblance of intelligence thought from their minds. And while certain Western fashions (cough democracy cough) are all the rage among the general public in China, we all know who the importer is in this relationship. In the end, it appears that America (and maybe England, too) is consigned to receive a steady stream of dumb pop songs that can only end in one thing. Insanity.
Full Disclosure- My favorite song that has recently been on the radio prominently features the lines "Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho." "Party in the U.S.A." comes in a close second. Just kidding. But seriously...
Post-Pre-Post NOTE: How awesome is LeVar Burton? He created/hosted Reading Rainbow. He was Geordi La Forge on Stark Trek:The Next Generation but that was preceded by an even more epic role voicing Kwame (Earth) on Captain Planet. And, of course, who could forget his portrayal of
It looks like we have ourselves another post. And another non-sports post, at that. I'm posting regularly while minorities are outnumbering good ol' white folk at the water park? Well played, Mayans, well played. The end of the world certainly draws near. My favorite part of this video is the talking missiles. I don't know why. My second favorite part is the French accent while the Japanese flag in the background of the Chinese portion of the clip rounds out my top three. The American educational system, for the win! While the academic performance of America's children (below average) is certainly reason to worry, this post will be addressing an issue far more dire. It is a disease that seeps into the brain of every child, tween, teenager and even the occasional college student (here's looking at you, kid). It's an airborne virus that spreads rapidly and children are at a much greater risk than adults. That makes it pretty much exactly like the swine flu...except unlike H1N1, the B52 is actually quite dangerous. It is the virus of dumb pop music.
Haven't heard of the B52? I guess I'll take a moment to fill you in. The B52 is named after the New Wave rock group that emerged from Georgia in the late 1970s and unleashed the full-fledged virus upon the world with "Rock Lobster." Bow Wow Wow and Wham! kept the virus alive in the 1980s with a cover of "I Want Candy" and "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go," respectively, but this was merely a precursor to the 1990s when things really escalated quickly.
I remember like it was yesterday. Hanson and Ricky Martin. The Spice Girls. Sisqo and Crazytown. Every boy and every girl! Shake your bon bon, shake your bon bon. People of the world! Let me see that thongggg. Slam me to the left! Cause you're my butterfly, sugar, baby. Shake it to the right! Life in plastic...it's fantastic. Spice up your life! Mmm bop. (Don't lie. You were singing along with Aqua. And probably Hanson, too. I'll stop here for everyone's sake). Hanson (profoundly) sings "In an Mmm bop they're gone." I would like to respectfully disagree with Isaac, Tyler and Zac. I could say that these songs will leave my head tomorrow but that's simply not true...they will be with me For. Ev. Er. And that's the whole point of this post (I knew we'd get there eventually). How many catchy melodies rattle through your head? How many dumb choruses float around inside that brain of yours? Why do you still know every word of "All-Star" by Smashmouth? Because you had a contest with your sister over who could memorize the song first? Well, that's just dumb (but I won so take that Casey). Kids really should play outside more.
NOTE: Nice Dane Cook cameo at the beginning of the "All-Star" video (it's from the movie Mystery Men). He hadn't yet learned that the key to comedy is a lot of yelling and spastic body movements. What's that now? That's not the key to comedy?? But Dane Cook is a massively successful stand-up comic! That has to be the key. Very odd. I guess it's a good thing we have Family Guy to explain things.
You may think that pop music could sink no lower than Hanson but kids these days have it no better. I don't know if Darwin had this exact scenario in mind while he was studying his finches, coming to his conclusions about the survival of the fittest and suffering from severe headaches (it's true and for those of you not paying attention I am implying I am the next Darwin) but pop music continually evolves in order to thrive consistently. The beats get catchier and the songs get dumber. Jeremiah is offering birthday sex. Fergie really likes to spell things. Soulja Boy had to go and compound the problem by creating a dance to complement his ridiculous song. And it was a dance so simple that even white people could (almost) pull it off. Soulja Boy, I only have one thing to tell you...you're a jerk. And we haven't even gotten to Miley Cyrus yet...maybe we should just move on again...
After extensive research (one Google search and some brief Wikipedia browsing), I have determined that China doesn't have the same problem. After all, this is the nation of Yo Yo Ma! There are some notable exceptions but basic love songs make up a lot of China's popular music (C-pop for short). Oddly enough, Chinese rap is abbreviated to C-rap. I didn't know Soulja Boy had created his own genre (ohhhhhhhh). Anyway, Jay Chou appears to be the artist that makes all the girls go wild (which gives him something in common with the Jonas Brothers that way) but he appears reasonable enough. It appears that Chinese children can only rely on American music to slowly erode all semblance of intelligence thought from their minds. And while certain Western fashions (cough democracy cough) are all the rage among the general public in China, we all know who the importer is in this relationship. In the end, it appears that America (and maybe England, too) is consigned to receive a steady stream of dumb pop songs that can only end in one thing. Insanity.
Full Disclosure- My favorite song that has recently been on the radio prominently features the lines "Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho." "Party in the U.S.A." comes in a close second. Just kidding. But seriously...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Reason #47 China Will Rule the 21st Century- The Olympics
I'm a big supporter of these United States of America. I may not own an American flag, serve in the military or speak with a Southern accent, but I think the U.S.A. is a great place to live. I mean, come on, in America we like our starlets young (and underage...in chronological order...1, 2, 3) and our phenoms even younger (in order from most to least justified 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 763, TBD). Personally, I think Latarian will do more hood rat stuff with his friends than anyone in history. Watch out, Tiger. Anyway, the United States is a place where we like our burgers colossal and devote entire shows to gluttony. We like our wrestling fake and our national past time faker (in no particular order 1, 2, 3). And we like our cars big and our stars bigger. I use the term 'star' loosely.
Because of all of these inherent truths, and maybe those mentioned in the Declaration of Independence as well, the United States was the leading global power over the course of the 20th century. For those keeping score at home we recorded an 11th round KO of Russia/USSR when it became obvious in the 1990s that the Soviet Union had been in the process of a massive internal collapse for a number of years. I happen to think the deciding blow was delivered around...1980 or so (fewest goosebumps to most 3, 2, 1). So while it's true that the U.S.A. has left Russia in the dust thus far in the 21st century, a new nation has emerged to challenge America for global supremacy. That nation is China. And while I love America, all signs point to another Chinese Revolution (hopefully with less Mao and more Yao this time). And in recognition of the impending ascension of the Chinese, I have decided to introduce the first ongoing (meaning there will be at least two of these) segment to this blog. It will be totally subjective, non-scientific and (probably) offensive. So without further ado...(see title of post).
The Greeks established the Ancient Olympic Games nearly three thousand years ago in 776 B.C. These games originated before the Romans went nuts on the rest of Europe...and some of Asia...and most of northern Africa...so at this time the Greeks had the freedom to lay the foundation for Western civilization and...do some other stuff, too. And the Greeks established a precedent that holds true three thousand years later, that the superpowers around the world win the most Olympic medals. The United States won the most medals in the four Olympics following World War I (the Olympics before WWI were dominated by host countries due to the greater difficulty in traveling in the early 20th century) but Germany easily won the most medals in the 1936 Berlin games (the exclusion of Jesse Owens from the master race probably rates behind the invasion of Russia but ahead of facial hair choices and the decision to fight Jesus on Hitler's list of mistakes). America came back from WWII atop the medal charts but the USSR slowly closed the gap before accumulating the most medals in 1972. We would regain the medal lead after the conclusion of the Cold War (excluding the Soviet-boycotted 1980 Los Angeles games) and looked like a good bet to maintain our position for the foreseeable future. Throughout this period the medal tables have fairly accurately reflected influence and power in the real world, as Japan and various European countries consistently rounded out the top ten of the medal charts. It was not until 1992 that a new nation emerged with a significant medal total. Enter China, stage right. Far right. (Far East). Get it? Theatre and geography?! Let this blog take its' rightful place alongside Bill Nye, Magic School Bus and Sesame Street in the pantheon of educational entertainment.
NOTE: Dear God, Kobe. You may speak fluent Italian but your European influences clearly do not extend to Pavarotti.
Let's get onto the bad news. China has already overtaken the U.S.A. in the medal count for the Paralympic (not Special Olympics) games. And it's not close. I know. Devastating. Since being introduced during the 1960 Olympics in Rome, the United States had dominated every Paralympic Games from 1964 through 1996, finishing with the most medals every year during that stretch. But our reign came to an end in 2000 during the Sydney games. Australia captured forty more total medals (27 more golds) and we finished third in the medal count (fifth in golds). And that was just a precursor to 2004 and 2008. We managed a combined 187 medals (63 golds) during the past two games while China accumulated 352 medals (152 gold). These numbers are overwhelming but I'm here to rationalize that seemingly damning difference away. It's a simple fact that you cannot put too much stock into disabled games that allowed a fully-abled Spanish basketball team into the competition. My biggest problem with this? The Spanish only won the final 87-63! They had to be the worst collection of ringers since the "Homer at the Bat" episode of The Simpsons, in which eight of the nine MLB guest stars miss the championship softball game completely due to various, hilarious reasons (one of best episodes ever). Now that I've completely lost my train of thought let's just move onto the good news...
We had more total medals than China in 2008 despite the Beijing location (host countries see sizable jumps in their medal counts). Back to the bad news...
China had 51 gold medals in Beijing. That is fifteen golds more than the United States and that total alone would have been good for third in the medal table (Great Britain had the fourth most medals with 47). America only bested the Chinese by ten total medals despite the top five American athletes taking home 27 medals (no Chinese athlete had more than three). Take away Michael Phelps, his bong and his Olympian behavior and China vs. U.S.A. is a virtual dead heat. Further take away Shawn Johnson's substantial thighs and China takes the top spot. It seems only a matter of time before China's athletic factories (1, 2, 3) churn out comparable superstars.
China has shown dramatic improvement over the past fifteen years and that upward trend is unlikely to change. The Chinese government will force the best Chinese athletes into laborious training regimens and won't tolerate non-participation from medal hopefuls. The current structure established in the sports of gymnastics, weightlifting and badminton/table tennis will soon extend to swimming, basketball, judo and who knows what else. The Chinese will be able to imitate the former U.S.S.R. because of a massive population and similar government involvement, structure and funding. We may retain the number one position in the overall medal count in the 2012 London games (not on American soil but at least everyone speaks English...or something resembling English), it will be a long, long time before we capture the most golds at the Summer Olympic. Look for the Chinese to wrest away the overall medal tally in 2016 (at the latest) in Rio de Janeiro and not relinquish that top spot for quite a while. With Olympic domination on the horizon, can world domination be too far behind? I think not. Narf!
Coming up next time...Reason #31 China Will Rule the 21st Century- American Popular Music...
Because of all of these inherent truths, and maybe those mentioned in the Declaration of Independence as well, the United States was the leading global power over the course of the 20th century. For those keeping score at home we recorded an 11th round KO of Russia/USSR when it became obvious in the 1990s that the Soviet Union had been in the process of a massive internal collapse for a number of years. I happen to think the deciding blow was delivered around...1980 or so (fewest goosebumps to most 3, 2, 1). So while it's true that the U.S.A. has left Russia in the dust thus far in the 21st century, a new nation has emerged to challenge America for global supremacy. That nation is China. And while I love America, all signs point to another Chinese Revolution (hopefully with less Mao and more Yao this time). And in recognition of the impending ascension of the Chinese, I have decided to introduce the first ongoing (meaning there will be at least two of these) segment to this blog. It will be totally subjective, non-scientific and (probably) offensive. So without further ado...(see title of post).
The Greeks established the Ancient Olympic Games nearly three thousand years ago in 776 B.C. These games originated before the Romans went nuts on the rest of Europe...and some of Asia...and most of northern Africa...so at this time the Greeks had the freedom to lay the foundation for Western civilization and...do some other stuff, too. And the Greeks established a precedent that holds true three thousand years later, that the superpowers around the world win the most Olympic medals. The United States won the most medals in the four Olympics following World War I (the Olympics before WWI were dominated by host countries due to the greater difficulty in traveling in the early 20th century) but Germany easily won the most medals in the 1936 Berlin games (the exclusion of Jesse Owens from the master race probably rates behind the invasion of Russia but ahead of facial hair choices and the decision to fight Jesus on Hitler's list of mistakes). America came back from WWII atop the medal charts but the USSR slowly closed the gap before accumulating the most medals in 1972. We would regain the medal lead after the conclusion of the Cold War (excluding the Soviet-boycotted 1980 Los Angeles games) and looked like a good bet to maintain our position for the foreseeable future. Throughout this period the medal tables have fairly accurately reflected influence and power in the real world, as Japan and various European countries consistently rounded out the top ten of the medal charts. It was not until 1992 that a new nation emerged with a significant medal total. Enter China, stage right. Far right. (Far East). Get it? Theatre and geography?! Let this blog take its' rightful place alongside Bill Nye, Magic School Bus and Sesame Street in the pantheon of educational entertainment.
NOTE: Dear God, Kobe. You may speak fluent Italian but your European influences clearly do not extend to Pavarotti.
Let's get onto the bad news. China has already overtaken the U.S.A. in the medal count for the Paralympic (not Special Olympics) games. And it's not close. I know. Devastating. Since being introduced during the 1960 Olympics in Rome, the United States had dominated every Paralympic Games from 1964 through 1996, finishing with the most medals every year during that stretch. But our reign came to an end in 2000 during the Sydney games. Australia captured forty more total medals (27 more golds) and we finished third in the medal count (fifth in golds). And that was just a precursor to 2004 and 2008. We managed a combined 187 medals (63 golds) during the past two games while China accumulated 352 medals (152 gold). These numbers are overwhelming but I'm here to rationalize that seemingly damning difference away. It's a simple fact that you cannot put too much stock into disabled games that allowed a fully-abled Spanish basketball team into the competition. My biggest problem with this? The Spanish only won the final 87-63! They had to be the worst collection of ringers since the "Homer at the Bat" episode of The Simpsons, in which eight of the nine MLB guest stars miss the championship softball game completely due to various, hilarious reasons (one of best episodes ever). Now that I've completely lost my train of thought let's just move onto the good news...
We had more total medals than China in 2008 despite the Beijing location (host countries see sizable jumps in their medal counts). Back to the bad news...
China had 51 gold medals in Beijing. That is fifteen golds more than the United States and that total alone would have been good for third in the medal table (Great Britain had the fourth most medals with 47). America only bested the Chinese by ten total medals despite the top five American athletes taking home 27 medals (no Chinese athlete had more than three). Take away Michael Phelps, his bong and his Olympian behavior and China vs. U.S.A. is a virtual dead heat. Further take away Shawn Johnson's substantial thighs and China takes the top spot. It seems only a matter of time before China's athletic factories (1, 2, 3) churn out comparable superstars.
China has shown dramatic improvement over the past fifteen years and that upward trend is unlikely to change. The Chinese government will force the best Chinese athletes into laborious training regimens and won't tolerate non-participation from medal hopefuls. The current structure established in the sports of gymnastics, weightlifting and badminton/table tennis will soon extend to swimming, basketball, judo and who knows what else. The Chinese will be able to imitate the former U.S.S.R. because of a massive population and similar government involvement, structure and funding. We may retain the number one position in the overall medal count in the 2012 London games (not on American soil but at least everyone speaks English...or something resembling English), it will be a long, long time before we capture the most golds at the Summer Olympic. Look for the Chinese to wrest away the overall medal tally in 2016 (at the latest) in Rio de Janeiro and not relinquish that top spot for quite a while. With Olympic domination on the horizon, can world domination be too far behind? I think not. Narf!
Coming up next time...Reason #31 China Will Rule the 21st Century- American Popular Music...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The NBA Preview That Was (Part Three: The End)
Teams That Can Win The NBA Championship With A Little Bit Of Luck And Hope They Don't Look Back At This Season Thinking I Coulda Been A Contender
My parents were not born when that movie was released. Outdated references for the win?
San Antonio Spurs- Hanginaround by Counting Crows. Tim Duncan and Gregg Popovich have been bummin around San Antonio for way, way, way, way too long. As a Lakers fan I find it maddening, but they’ve been the most consistent team in the league since Duncan arrived in 1997. After the Lakers mini-dynasty came to an end in 2002, my preseason pick for NBA champion has been the Spurs. Every year (except 2004). And I was right half the time. It was a pretty good system. But I am not picking them this year despite this being the deepest, most well-rounded Spurs team since…umm…ever? Why, you ask? The NBA is a superstar league and I don’t have faith that the Spurs three stars will be healthy in April, May and June. Duncan was one of the five best players in the league as recently as the first half of last season but was moving worse than Jimmy from South Park last spring. Manu Ginobili, who at full strength is as good as any shooting guard not named Kobe or Dwyane, does not exactly inspire Bruce Willis comparisons (an Unbreakable reference but that applies to Die Hardas well).He gets hurt more often than Taylor Swift's (marry me) feelings but he's only playing thirty minutes per game while Taylor was exploring the boundaries of love with one of the Jonas Brothers (I promise the link is non-pornographic). The two are clearly not comparable. Man up, Manu. And to make matters worse Tony Parker is…French. And a French rap star, at that. Anyway, Popovich will limit everyone’s minutes during the regular season as the Spurs cruise to fifty-five wins and a division title without exerting themselves until February but, in the end, I don’t see it working. (I know perfectly well this prediction will come back to bite me in the ass during the upcoming Western Conference Finals. I should have gone with the jinx. Or the reverse-jinx. Or the fake reverse-jinx. Whichever was applicable here. I get confused.)
Cleveland Cavaliers- Semi-Charmed Kinda Life by Third Eye Blind. Poor Clevelanders/Clevelandites/Clevelandanders. Drew Carey and Terrence Howard are the most famous/successful celebrities to represent Cleveland in the past fifty years. That should be enough torture for one metropolitan area but the sports teams just wouldn't leave well enough alone. I was going to give a summary of all of the misery and heartbreak but this sums it up fairly well. The modern versions of football and basketball have been played for around fifty years. In those fifty years there are three single plays known as “The Shot,” “The Fumble” and “The Drive.” All came at the expense of Cleveland teams. That is not good. Also, the related videos all have titles like “The Cleveland Curse” and “Cleveland Sports- Where Failure Happens.” It seems to be a popular topic. That is definitely not good. This is the first reason why I don’t think Cleveland will win the title even though LeBron James is the best player in the world (and that should not be a debate…unless Kobe continues his dominance and efficiency in the post, knock on wood). The second reason is that the rest of the Cavaliers still...kinda suck. The Cavs' second best player (Shaq or Mo Williams) would be the fourth or fifth best player on the Lakers, Celtics, Spurs or Magic. The third reason is that Mike Brown more than kinda sucks at coaching offense. The fourth reason is that Shaq is more than kinda fat. No, but seriously, Shaq’s on his way. This is what he looked like at LSU and this is what he looked like with Miami. Imagine when he stops playing and spends all his time eating donuts as the most intimidating police officer in the history of the world. Yes, even more intimidating than the Hot Cops. The fifth reason is that Google’s top nine suggested searches after typing in Delonte West are as follows…1) Delonte West herpes 2) Delonte West girlfriend 3) Delonte West arrested 4) Delonte West kfc 5) Delonte West hot sauce 6) Delonte West race 7) Delonte West rap 8) Delonte West depression 9) Delonte West donuts. The herpes was just an unfortunately located birth mark but these links should explain most of the rest…KFC rap, crazy girlfriend and arrest. People seem to think Delonte was carrying a bit too much firepower for an evening ride on his motorcycle. Those people failed to take notice of the location of Delonte's arrest. Prince George's County. I’m with you, Delonte. And I hope you get a handle on your depression and make it back onto the court soon. As I noted earlier, the Cavs need all the help they can get.
NOTE: I like how I phrased the last couple sentences as if Delonte was going to read this blog. Good times.
Boston Celtics- Bump N’ Grind by R. Kelly. This song is only intended to highlight the Celtics physical style of defense. Boston has used that defense to jump out to an 8-1 start and has looked like the best team in the league. The point guard has arms like Mr. Fantastic and claims he can run the forty-yard dash in 3.9 seconds. The power forward is one of the fifteen best defensive players ever. The center looks like this, so you know he's not on the court for his offense. Boston's best six players are the best in the league but I don't think they're going to win their second championship in three years. I have more than a feeling that Garnett of new isn't quite the Garnett of old. I've got less of a feeling (more of a hopeful thing going on, really) that this makes the difference in the Celtics season. (See Spurs comment about jinxes.)
Los Angeles Lakers- A Whole New World from Aladdin. There was a 100% chance that I was using this song when I originally came up with the 90s music theme. And what makes more sense than using my favorite song from my favorite childhood movie to describe my favorite basketball team? The Lakers' world as defending NBA champions is quite a bit different than the one in which this group of players was looking for their first title. For starters, there is the natural problem of staying focused and motivated while other teams have improved their rosters to match-up with the Lakers. Lamar Odom married the ugly Kardashian and now appears set to become a pseudo-reality TV star. Jordan Farmar, Pau Gasol and Pau Gasol's indefinitely injured hamstring are appearing on CSI episodes. Sasha Vujacic is dating Maria Sharapova (Sasha cleans up in L.A.). Andrew Bynum has set a personal goal of becoming an all-star and has become a black hole of sorts in the post. And then there is the addition of Crazy Pills. Crazy Pills (Ron Artest) traded places with Trevor Ariza over the summer and brings an element of...volatility to the team. My personal thoughts are that it was a good signing for the next two years but a poor long-term move (though that is defensible considering the Lakers desire to maximize their chances during Kobe's prime). I'm not worried about a (slightly) older, (slightly) wiser Artest flinging himself into any melees and I'm not worried too much about his off the court...quirks. I am worried about his declining quickness and issues defending smaller players but nearly every contender's primary scoring option from the wing is a physical player (Carmelo in Denver, LeBron in Cleveland, Pierce in Boston, kind of Carter in Orlando) so in the games and series that will decide the season this shouldn't be an issue this season. I am not worried about his three-point shooting (better than Ariza's) or his passing ability (underrated). I am worried about his willingness to pass as the season progresses (and Gasol comes back and he sees less of the ball) but hopefully Kobe and Phil can keep him focused for the duration. The addition of Artest gives the Lakers the highest ceiling in the league (as shown by a 6-1 start without Gasol at all and without Bynum for two games). The frontcourt talent is absurd, really. I only have the Lakers as Western Conference champions because of anticipated defensive shortcomings. The Lakers will be a good defensive team but whichever team comes out of the East will be a great defensive team. Of all the drama surrounding the Lakers that was mentioned earlier, the only piece of information that was pertinent to their title chances was Bynum's goal of becoming an all-star. He will probably reach his goal if he stays healthy for the first half of the season but the points he will score may come at the expense of defensive effort and the Lakers need Andrew Bynum protecting the rim and defending the likes of Dwight Howard. The Lakers certainly should feed Bynum in the post at times but the offense takes off when Pau plays a larger role and Kobe is able to receive the ball in the post. It's my personal, eternally pessimistic belief that things won't quite all fit together well enough to win the championship this season (but I'm fine with being wrong...just in this particular case, though).
Orlando Magic- No Scrubs by TLC. Quality music. R.I.P. Left Eye. The Magic were my preseason pick to win the championship. They can go big, they can go small, they can stretch the floor with shooters and they have the best big man in the league. The Magic made the NBA Finals last year and improved their small forward position (Vince Carter was better last season than Turkoglu in every single way, even playmaking, look it up) and point guard position (healthy Jameer Nelson is back and better than Skip To My Lou) while improving their depth. One through twelve there are no scrubs on this roster. We're now two weeks into the season and I don't feel nearly as good about this as I did a month ago. Boston is playing historically good defense at the moment and Orlando doesn't match up particularly well with the Celtics (seven game series last year without KG). But I'm sticking with my pick even though the Magic will be relying on Vince Carter in crunch time of close games. Aw, hell, I should have thought this through more...
NOTE: Hilarious Dwight Howard story. I'm not exactly sure why the media portrays him as a saint (actually I do...personable, likable, accessible, big smile...the Superman nickname obviously isn't the only thing he has in common with Shaq) but this story is even better than finding out about him knocking up a Magic cheerleader.
Well, there it is. A three-part NBA preview sure to go down in history with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings as far as trilogies go. Enjoy. Fin.
My parents were not born when that movie was released. Outdated references for the win?
San Antonio Spurs- Hanginaround by Counting Crows. Tim Duncan and Gregg Popovich have been bummin around San Antonio for way, way, way, way too long. As a Lakers fan I find it maddening, but they’ve been the most consistent team in the league since Duncan arrived in 1997. After the Lakers mini-dynasty came to an end in 2002, my preseason pick for NBA champion has been the Spurs. Every year (except 2004). And I was right half the time. It was a pretty good system. But I am not picking them this year despite this being the deepest, most well-rounded Spurs team since…umm…ever? Why, you ask? The NBA is a superstar league and I don’t have faith that the Spurs three stars will be healthy in April, May and June. Duncan was one of the five best players in the league as recently as the first half of last season but was moving worse than Jimmy from South Park last spring. Manu Ginobili, who at full strength is as good as any shooting guard not named Kobe or Dwyane, does not exactly inspire Bruce Willis comparisons (an Unbreakable reference but that applies to Die Hardas well).He gets hurt more often than Taylor Swift's (marry me) feelings but he's only playing thirty minutes per game while Taylor was exploring the boundaries of love with one of the Jonas Brothers (I promise the link is non-pornographic). The two are clearly not comparable. Man up, Manu. And to make matters worse Tony Parker is…French. And a French rap star, at that. Anyway, Popovich will limit everyone’s minutes during the regular season as the Spurs cruise to fifty-five wins and a division title without exerting themselves until February but, in the end, I don’t see it working. (I know perfectly well this prediction will come back to bite me in the ass during the upcoming Western Conference Finals. I should have gone with the jinx. Or the reverse-jinx. Or the fake reverse-jinx. Whichever was applicable here. I get confused.)
Cleveland Cavaliers- Semi-Charmed Kinda Life by Third Eye Blind. Poor Clevelanders/Clevelandites/Clevelandanders. Drew Carey and Terrence Howard are the most famous/successful celebrities to represent Cleveland in the past fifty years. That should be enough torture for one metropolitan area but the sports teams just wouldn't leave well enough alone. I was going to give a summary of all of the misery and heartbreak but this sums it up fairly well. The modern versions of football and basketball have been played for around fifty years. In those fifty years there are three single plays known as “The Shot,” “The Fumble” and “The Drive.” All came at the expense of Cleveland teams. That is not good. Also, the related videos all have titles like “The Cleveland Curse” and “Cleveland Sports- Where Failure Happens.” It seems to be a popular topic. That is definitely not good. This is the first reason why I don’t think Cleveland will win the title even though LeBron James is the best player in the world (and that should not be a debate…unless Kobe continues his dominance and efficiency in the post, knock on wood). The second reason is that the rest of the Cavaliers still...kinda suck. The Cavs' second best player (Shaq or Mo Williams) would be the fourth or fifth best player on the Lakers, Celtics, Spurs or Magic. The third reason is that Mike Brown more than kinda sucks at coaching offense. The fourth reason is that Shaq is more than kinda fat. No, but seriously, Shaq’s on his way. This is what he looked like at LSU and this is what he looked like with Miami. Imagine when he stops playing and spends all his time eating donuts as the most intimidating police officer in the history of the world. Yes, even more intimidating than the Hot Cops. The fifth reason is that Google’s top nine suggested searches after typing in Delonte West are as follows…1) Delonte West herpes 2) Delonte West girlfriend 3) Delonte West arrested 4) Delonte West kfc 5) Delonte West hot sauce 6) Delonte West race 7) Delonte West rap 8) Delonte West depression 9) Delonte West donuts. The herpes was just an unfortunately located birth mark but these links should explain most of the rest…KFC rap, crazy girlfriend and arrest. People seem to think Delonte was carrying a bit too much firepower for an evening ride on his motorcycle. Those people failed to take notice of the location of Delonte's arrest. Prince George's County. I’m with you, Delonte. And I hope you get a handle on your depression and make it back onto the court soon. As I noted earlier, the Cavs need all the help they can get.
NOTE: I like how I phrased the last couple sentences as if Delonte was going to read this blog. Good times.
Boston Celtics- Bump N’ Grind by R. Kelly. This song is only intended to highlight the Celtics physical style of defense. Boston has used that defense to jump out to an 8-1 start and has looked like the best team in the league. The point guard has arms like Mr. Fantastic and claims he can run the forty-yard dash in 3.9 seconds. The power forward is one of the fifteen best defensive players ever. The center looks like this, so you know he's not on the court for his offense. Boston's best six players are the best in the league but I don't think they're going to win their second championship in three years. I have more than a feeling that Garnett of new isn't quite the Garnett of old. I've got less of a feeling (more of a hopeful thing going on, really) that this makes the difference in the Celtics season. (See Spurs comment about jinxes.)
Los Angeles Lakers- A Whole New World from Aladdin. There was a 100% chance that I was using this song when I originally came up with the 90s music theme. And what makes more sense than using my favorite song from my favorite childhood movie to describe my favorite basketball team? The Lakers' world as defending NBA champions is quite a bit different than the one in which this group of players was looking for their first title. For starters, there is the natural problem of staying focused and motivated while other teams have improved their rosters to match-up with the Lakers. Lamar Odom married the ugly Kardashian and now appears set to become a pseudo-reality TV star. Jordan Farmar, Pau Gasol and Pau Gasol's indefinitely injured hamstring are appearing on CSI episodes. Sasha Vujacic is dating Maria Sharapova (Sasha cleans up in L.A.). Andrew Bynum has set a personal goal of becoming an all-star and has become a black hole of sorts in the post. And then there is the addition of Crazy Pills. Crazy Pills (Ron Artest) traded places with Trevor Ariza over the summer and brings an element of...volatility to the team. My personal thoughts are that it was a good signing for the next two years but a poor long-term move (though that is defensible considering the Lakers desire to maximize their chances during Kobe's prime). I'm not worried about a (slightly) older, (slightly) wiser Artest flinging himself into any melees and I'm not worried too much about his off the court...quirks. I am worried about his declining quickness and issues defending smaller players but nearly every contender's primary scoring option from the wing is a physical player (Carmelo in Denver, LeBron in Cleveland, Pierce in Boston, kind of Carter in Orlando) so in the games and series that will decide the season this shouldn't be an issue this season. I am not worried about his three-point shooting (better than Ariza's) or his passing ability (underrated). I am worried about his willingness to pass as the season progresses (and Gasol comes back and he sees less of the ball) but hopefully Kobe and Phil can keep him focused for the duration. The addition of Artest gives the Lakers the highest ceiling in the league (as shown by a 6-1 start without Gasol at all and without Bynum for two games). The frontcourt talent is absurd, really. I only have the Lakers as Western Conference champions because of anticipated defensive shortcomings. The Lakers will be a good defensive team but whichever team comes out of the East will be a great defensive team. Of all the drama surrounding the Lakers that was mentioned earlier, the only piece of information that was pertinent to their title chances was Bynum's goal of becoming an all-star. He will probably reach his goal if he stays healthy for the first half of the season but the points he will score may come at the expense of defensive effort and the Lakers need Andrew Bynum protecting the rim and defending the likes of Dwight Howard. The Lakers certainly should feed Bynum in the post at times but the offense takes off when Pau plays a larger role and Kobe is able to receive the ball in the post. It's my personal, eternally pessimistic belief that things won't quite all fit together well enough to win the championship this season (but I'm fine with being wrong...just in this particular case, though).
Orlando Magic- No Scrubs by TLC. Quality music. R.I.P. Left Eye. The Magic were my preseason pick to win the championship. They can go big, they can go small, they can stretch the floor with shooters and they have the best big man in the league. The Magic made the NBA Finals last year and improved their small forward position (Vince Carter was better last season than Turkoglu in every single way, even playmaking, look it up) and point guard position (healthy Jameer Nelson is back and better than Skip To My Lou) while improving their depth. One through twelve there are no scrubs on this roster. We're now two weeks into the season and I don't feel nearly as good about this as I did a month ago. Boston is playing historically good defense at the moment and Orlando doesn't match up particularly well with the Celtics (seven game series last year without KG). But I'm sticking with my pick even though the Magic will be relying on Vince Carter in crunch time of close games. Aw, hell, I should have thought this through more...
NOTE: Hilarious Dwight Howard story. I'm not exactly sure why the media portrays him as a saint (actually I do...personable, likable, accessible, big smile...the Superman nickname obviously isn't the only thing he has in common with Shaq) but this story is even better than finding out about him knocking up a Magic cheerleader.
Well, there it is. A three-part NBA preview sure to go down in history with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings as far as trilogies go. Enjoy. Fin.
Monday, November 9, 2009
The NBA Preview That Was (Part Two: 90s Music Edition)...
I love the 1990s. And if Vh1 has taught me anything, and I would like to believe it has taught me many a thing, it's that everybody else loves the 90s, too. So I have decided to tie this portion of the NBA preview together by assigning each team a song from the 90s that further fleshes out their fates and fortunes for the forthcoming season. Never let it be said that I don't give the people what they want...
Teams That May Be Really Good, Really Bad, Decidedly Mediocre But Most Definitely Entertaining
Houston Rockets- All the Small Things by Blink 182. The Rockets will outwork you on the offensive glass. They will correctly rotate to perimeter shooters. They will execute well out of timeouts and in end-of-game scenarios. They will draw charges. They will do all of the small things short of leaving roses by the stairs (surprises let you know she cares). Houston will wind up a poor man’s version of the 2003-06 Detroit Pistons. They will rely on balanced scoring from eight average to above-average players, be well coached and play good defense (normally would be great defense but without Yao there is no shot-blocking presence on the interior). However…the media likes story lines. The media likes offense. The media likes stars. All of these factors will contribute to the following sequence of events: 1) Rockets enter the season with little fanfare and are picked to miss the playoffs by most experts (check). 2) Rockets start the year off “surprisingly” well (signs point to a check). 3) A rash of articles appear describing the Rockets as “a group of overachievers,” “gutty,” “tough” and “unheralded” (coming soon). 4) Everyone remembers the Rockets aren’t exciting and forget about the team around the All-Star break (coming later). 5) Rockets sneak into the playoffs and take their first round opponent to six or seven games before bowing out of the postseason (coming eventually). Write it down.
Washington Wizards- The Crossroads by Bone Thugs N Harmony. Okay, so maybe this song honored the diseased Eazy-E and most of the lyrics can’t be related to basketball in any way, shape or form, but let’s take a look at the intro… “Now tell me whatchu gonna do when there ain’t nowhere to run, when judgment comes for you (when judgment comes for you). And whatchu gonna do when there ain’t nowhere to hide, when judgment comes for you (cause it’s gonna come for you).” Gilbert Arenas and Brendan Haywood are coming back from injury. Will they remain injury-free and contribute as they did when last healthy? Mike Miller, Randy Foye and Francisco Oberto were acquired to add depth to the squad. Can they fit into new schemes with new teammates? The talented Andray Blatche is entering his fifth year, Nick Young is now 24 and Javale McGee is no longer a rookie. Can any of them develop the consistency and focus needed to succeed in this league? Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison are still very productive but can they be leaders on a playoff team? Flip Saunders enters as the new Wizards coach, he of the seven 50-win regular seasons and zero NBA Finals appearances. Can he find the right combination of players to bring respectability back to Washington sports(because the Redskins and Nationals sure ain’t gonna do it)? One way or another, judgment will be passed down on all of these questions. For my money, I think the Wizards will rally to win 45 games and make the playoffs. They are the most likely dark horse candidate among the middling teams in the Eastern Conference. They are also the most likely to implode under an injury-riddled roster and slump to an unbelievably disappointing 25-win season. They do indeed stand at the crossroads.
Toronto Raptors- Around the World by Red Hot Chili Peppers. The starting point guard hails from Spain while the small forward is Turkey’s version of Michael Jordan (the competition for that title is not quite as strong in Turkey…yeah…). The starting center was drafted out of Rome and the backup center was born in the Artist Formerly Known as Yugoslavia. Throw in another Italian for good measure and it’s obvious that Toronto General Manager Bryan Colangelo agrees that “life is beautiful around the world.” And when foreign free agents say hello, he certainly says “I do.” The Raptors will be one of the most efficient offensive teams in basketball and will score enough points to contend for a playoff spot. They will also be one of the worst defensive teams in basketball and thus probably ensure themselves a first round exit from the aforementioned playoffs. The Raptors have enough talent to make some noise and scare the elite teams in the Eastern Conference but does anyone really think a ragtag bunch of Europeans will band together and suddenly play inspired defense? Didn’t think so.
Phoenix Suns- Losing a Whole Year by Third Eye Blind. Don’t let the door hit you (and your gigantic ass) on the way out, Shaquille. Last year the Suns changed their identity from a fast-paced, exciting team built around Steve Nash that was a bit of good luck away from winning an NBA championship to a conventional, boring, mediocre squad built around Shaquille O'Neal that missed the playoffs and pouted more than Owen Wilson in the second half of Wedding Crashers. Fortunately for Phoenix fans, the Suns of old are back after a one-year hiatus and are already scoring points in bunches. Unfortunately for Phoenix fans, the Suns don’t have as much talent as in years past and can’t make a serious run at the title with the current squad. Oh well.
Utah Jazz- Redundant by Green Day. “We're living in repetition, content in the same old shtick again. Now the routine is turning to contention…” This will be the fourth season that Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer, Mehmet Okur, Paul Millsap and Andrei Kirilenko have served as the backbone of the Jazz. Year One- Lost in Western Conference Finals. Year Two- Lost in Western Conference Semifinals. Year Three- Lost in First Round. Andrei Kirilenko is playing out of position, looks uncomfortable on the court and appears to be a shell of his former self. Carlos Boozer would like to be traded. Paul Millsap just signed a large contract but can’t play substantial minutes while Boozer is still on the team. Contentious, indeed. The Jazz possess talent and a definitive home court advantage but can’t seem to put everything together. Part of the problem is that the roster may be, dare I say, redundant as Boozer, Millsap, Okur and Kirilenko all function best when playing power forward. Unfortunately this leaves them only a truck party and three shoot-first point guards away from the standard set by the 2005-2006 New York Knicks.
Teams That Are Almost Good But Aren't Exciting In Any Way
Atlanta Hawks- ATLiens by Outkast. This is a great song that has nothing to do with the Hawks other than the Atlanta connection. It’s my preview; I’ll do what I want. I don’t have much to say about the Hawks. They are good but not great. They have a nice group of young players but no future star. Joe Johnson can do it all but isn’t quite a superstar, bonafide, number-one option.
Dallas Mavericks- Still D.R.E. by Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg. Dr. Dre found fame as a member of N.W.A in the late 1980s and early 1990s despite the refusal of mainstream radio to play N.W.A. songs due to explicit lyrics. Dirk Nowitzki burst onto the scene in 2000 for an exciting Dallas Mavericks team despite being a big, ugly German dude. Dre left N.W.A. to pursue a solo career and released the groundbreaking album The Chronic in 1992. Steve Nash and Michael Finley left the Mavericks but Dirk led Dallas to the NBA Finals in 2006 before capturing an MVP award in 2007 during a 67-win season. Dre went seven years before releasing another album and somewhat fell off the map before signing Eminem in 1998 and releasing 2001 (containing the single Still D.R.E.) in 1999. Dre was still Dre but you got the feeling it just wasn’t quite the same. The Mavericks lost in the first round of the playoffs during that 2007 season and have scuttled about in the middle of the Western Conference ever since. Dallas fans hope that Shawn Marion and a healthy Josh Howard will improve their fortunes. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t but either way it won’t quite be the same as old.
Teams That Are Good But Still Can't Win The Title
Denver Nuggets- Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill. Kenyon Martin once graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. The featured article focused half on basketball and half on his thug image and self proclamation of being a "Bad Ass Yellow Boy." Chris Anderson received a two-year ban for violating the substance abuse policy, responds to the nickname "Birdman" and looks like this. Carmelo Anthony appeared in a home-made DVD entitled "Stop Snitchin" and has a "controversies" section on his Wikipedia page. Nene only has one name. J.R. Smith is the craziest player on the team and we haven't even gotten to him, yet. Hi-jinks will certainly ensue but the real reason they won't win the title is a lack of depth. Anthony Carter, Joey Graham and Renaldo Balkman have already started games for the Nuggets and that is a very bad sign.
Portland TrailBlazers- Smooth by Santana ft. Rob Thomas. This one goes out to...Greg Oden! We kid because we love, Greg. More fittingly, this goes out to...Brandon Roy. Portland knows what it's going to get from most of it's roster and that includes Roy, perhaps the smoothest player in the NBA and a legitimate superstar. LaMarcus Aldridge is a nice player but he will not be the second best player on an NBA champion...which means that Portland will go exactly as far as Greg Oden takes them. Hmmm...
The five teams that can actually win the title will be Part Three. Yeah...three parts. So necessary. Fin.
Teams That May Be Really Good, Really Bad, Decidedly Mediocre But Most Definitely Entertaining
Houston Rockets- All the Small Things by Blink 182. The Rockets will outwork you on the offensive glass. They will correctly rotate to perimeter shooters. They will execute well out of timeouts and in end-of-game scenarios. They will draw charges. They will do all of the small things short of leaving roses by the stairs (surprises let you know she cares). Houston will wind up a poor man’s version of the 2003-06 Detroit Pistons. They will rely on balanced scoring from eight average to above-average players, be well coached and play good defense (normally would be great defense but without Yao there is no shot-blocking presence on the interior). However…the media likes story lines. The media likes offense. The media likes stars. All of these factors will contribute to the following sequence of events: 1) Rockets enter the season with little fanfare and are picked to miss the playoffs by most experts (check). 2) Rockets start the year off “surprisingly” well (signs point to a check). 3) A rash of articles appear describing the Rockets as “a group of overachievers,” “gutty,” “tough” and “unheralded” (coming soon). 4) Everyone remembers the Rockets aren’t exciting and forget about the team around the All-Star break (coming later). 5) Rockets sneak into the playoffs and take their first round opponent to six or seven games before bowing out of the postseason (coming eventually). Write it down.
Washington Wizards- The Crossroads by Bone Thugs N Harmony. Okay, so maybe this song honored the diseased Eazy-E and most of the lyrics can’t be related to basketball in any way, shape or form, but let’s take a look at the intro… “Now tell me whatchu gonna do when there ain’t nowhere to run, when judgment comes for you (when judgment comes for you). And whatchu gonna do when there ain’t nowhere to hide, when judgment comes for you (cause it’s gonna come for you).” Gilbert Arenas and Brendan Haywood are coming back from injury. Will they remain injury-free and contribute as they did when last healthy? Mike Miller, Randy Foye and Francisco Oberto were acquired to add depth to the squad. Can they fit into new schemes with new teammates? The talented Andray Blatche is entering his fifth year, Nick Young is now 24 and Javale McGee is no longer a rookie. Can any of them develop the consistency and focus needed to succeed in this league? Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison are still very productive but can they be leaders on a playoff team? Flip Saunders enters as the new Wizards coach, he of the seven 50-win regular seasons and zero NBA Finals appearances. Can he find the right combination of players to bring respectability back to Washington sports(because the Redskins and Nationals sure ain’t gonna do it)? One way or another, judgment will be passed down on all of these questions. For my money, I think the Wizards will rally to win 45 games and make the playoffs. They are the most likely dark horse candidate among the middling teams in the Eastern Conference. They are also the most likely to implode under an injury-riddled roster and slump to an unbelievably disappointing 25-win season. They do indeed stand at the crossroads.
Toronto Raptors- Around the World by Red Hot Chili Peppers. The starting point guard hails from Spain while the small forward is Turkey’s version of Michael Jordan (the competition for that title is not quite as strong in Turkey…yeah…). The starting center was drafted out of Rome and the backup center was born in the Artist Formerly Known as Yugoslavia. Throw in another Italian for good measure and it’s obvious that Toronto General Manager Bryan Colangelo agrees that “life is beautiful around the world.” And when foreign free agents say hello, he certainly says “I do.” The Raptors will be one of the most efficient offensive teams in basketball and will score enough points to contend for a playoff spot. They will also be one of the worst defensive teams in basketball and thus probably ensure themselves a first round exit from the aforementioned playoffs. The Raptors have enough talent to make some noise and scare the elite teams in the Eastern Conference but does anyone really think a ragtag bunch of Europeans will band together and suddenly play inspired defense? Didn’t think so.
Phoenix Suns- Losing a Whole Year by Third Eye Blind. Don’t let the door hit you (and your gigantic ass) on the way out, Shaquille. Last year the Suns changed their identity from a fast-paced, exciting team built around Steve Nash that was a bit of good luck away from winning an NBA championship to a conventional, boring, mediocre squad built around Shaquille O'Neal that missed the playoffs and pouted more than Owen Wilson in the second half of Wedding Crashers. Fortunately for Phoenix fans, the Suns of old are back after a one-year hiatus and are already scoring points in bunches. Unfortunately for Phoenix fans, the Suns don’t have as much talent as in years past and can’t make a serious run at the title with the current squad. Oh well.
Utah Jazz- Redundant by Green Day. “We're living in repetition, content in the same old shtick again. Now the routine is turning to contention…” This will be the fourth season that Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer, Mehmet Okur, Paul Millsap and Andrei Kirilenko have served as the backbone of the Jazz. Year One- Lost in Western Conference Finals. Year Two- Lost in Western Conference Semifinals. Year Three- Lost in First Round. Andrei Kirilenko is playing out of position, looks uncomfortable on the court and appears to be a shell of his former self. Carlos Boozer would like to be traded. Paul Millsap just signed a large contract but can’t play substantial minutes while Boozer is still on the team. Contentious, indeed. The Jazz possess talent and a definitive home court advantage but can’t seem to put everything together. Part of the problem is that the roster may be, dare I say, redundant as Boozer, Millsap, Okur and Kirilenko all function best when playing power forward. Unfortunately this leaves them only a truck party and three shoot-first point guards away from the standard set by the 2005-2006 New York Knicks.
Teams That Are Almost Good But Aren't Exciting In Any Way
Atlanta Hawks- ATLiens by Outkast. This is a great song that has nothing to do with the Hawks other than the Atlanta connection. It’s my preview; I’ll do what I want. I don’t have much to say about the Hawks. They are good but not great. They have a nice group of young players but no future star. Joe Johnson can do it all but isn’t quite a superstar, bonafide, number-one option.
Dallas Mavericks- Still D.R.E. by Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg. Dr. Dre found fame as a member of N.W.A in the late 1980s and early 1990s despite the refusal of mainstream radio to play N.W.A. songs due to explicit lyrics. Dirk Nowitzki burst onto the scene in 2000 for an exciting Dallas Mavericks team despite being a big, ugly German dude. Dre left N.W.A. to pursue a solo career and released the groundbreaking album The Chronic in 1992. Steve Nash and Michael Finley left the Mavericks but Dirk led Dallas to the NBA Finals in 2006 before capturing an MVP award in 2007 during a 67-win season. Dre went seven years before releasing another album and somewhat fell off the map before signing Eminem in 1998 and releasing 2001 (containing the single Still D.R.E.) in 1999. Dre was still Dre but you got the feeling it just wasn’t quite the same. The Mavericks lost in the first round of the playoffs during that 2007 season and have scuttled about in the middle of the Western Conference ever since. Dallas fans hope that Shawn Marion and a healthy Josh Howard will improve their fortunes. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t but either way it won’t quite be the same as old.
Teams That Are Good But Still Can't Win The Title
Denver Nuggets- Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill. Kenyon Martin once graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. The featured article focused half on basketball and half on his thug image and self proclamation of being a "Bad Ass Yellow Boy." Chris Anderson received a two-year ban for violating the substance abuse policy, responds to the nickname "Birdman" and looks like this. Carmelo Anthony appeared in a home-made DVD entitled "Stop Snitchin" and has a "controversies" section on his Wikipedia page. Nene only has one name. J.R. Smith is the craziest player on the team and we haven't even gotten to him, yet. Hi-jinks will certainly ensue but the real reason they won't win the title is a lack of depth. Anthony Carter, Joey Graham and Renaldo Balkman have already started games for the Nuggets and that is a very bad sign.
Portland TrailBlazers- Smooth by Santana ft. Rob Thomas. This one goes out to...Greg Oden! We kid because we love, Greg. More fittingly, this goes out to...Brandon Roy. Portland knows what it's going to get from most of it's roster and that includes Roy, perhaps the smoothest player in the NBA and a legitimate superstar. LaMarcus Aldridge is a nice player but he will not be the second best player on an NBA champion...which means that Portland will go exactly as far as Greg Oden takes them. Hmmm...
The five teams that can actually win the title will be Part Three. Yeah...three parts. So necessary. Fin.
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