The NBA Preview That Was (Part Three: The End)

Teams That Can Win The NBA Championship With A Little Bit Of Luck And Hope They Don't Look Back At This Season Thinking I Coulda Been A Contender

My parents were not born when that movie was released. Outdated references for the win?

San Antonio Spurs- Hanginaround by Counting Crows. Tim Duncan and Gregg Popovich have been bummin around San Antonio for way, way, way, way too long. As a Lakers fan I find it maddening, but they’ve been the most consistent team in the league since Duncan arrived in 1997. After the Lakers mini-dynasty came to an end in 2002, my preseason pick for NBA champion has been the Spurs. Every year (except 2004). And I was right half the time. It was a pretty good system. But I am not picking them this year despite this being the deepest, most well-rounded Spurs team since…umm…ever? Why, you ask? The NBA is a superstar league and I don’t have faith that the Spurs three stars will be healthy in April, May and June. Duncan was one of the five best players in the league as recently as the first half of last season but was moving worse than Jimmy from South Park last spring. Manu Ginobili, who at full strength is as good as any shooting guard not named Kobe or Dwyane, does not exactly inspire Bruce Willis comparisons (an Unbreakable reference but that applies to Die Hardas well).He gets hurt more often than Taylor Swift's (marry me) feelings but he's only playing thirty minutes per game while Taylor was exploring the boundaries of love with one of the Jonas Brothers (I promise the link is non-pornographic). The two are clearly not comparable. Man up, Manu. And to make matters worse Tony Parker is…French. And a French rap star, at that. Anyway, Popovich will limit everyone’s minutes during the regular season as the Spurs cruise to fifty-five wins and a division title without exerting themselves until February but, in the end, I don’t see it working. (I know perfectly well this prediction will come back to bite me in the ass during the upcoming Western Conference Finals. I should have gone with the jinx. Or the reverse-jinx. Or the fake reverse-jinx. Whichever was applicable here. I get confused.)

Cleveland Cavaliers- Semi-Charmed Kinda Life by Third Eye Blind. Poor Clevelanders/Clevelandites/Clevelandanders. Drew Carey and Terrence Howard are the most famous/successful celebrities to represent Cleveland in the past fifty years. That should be enough torture for one metropolitan area but the sports teams just wouldn't leave well enough alone. I was going to give a summary of all of the misery and heartbreak but this sums it up fairly well. The modern versions of football and basketball have been played for around fifty years. In those fifty years there are three single plays known as “The Shot,” “The Fumble” and “The Drive.” All came at the expense of Cleveland teams. That is not good. Also, the related videos all have titles like “The Cleveland Curse” and “Cleveland Sports- Where Failure Happens.” It seems to be a popular topic. That is definitely not good. This is the first reason why I don’t think Cleveland will win the title even though LeBron James is the best player in the world (and that should not be a debate…unless Kobe continues his dominance and efficiency in the post, knock on wood). The second reason is that the rest of the Cavaliers still...kinda suck. The Cavs' second best player (Shaq or Mo Williams) would be the fourth or fifth best player on the Lakers, Celtics, Spurs or Magic. The third reason is that Mike Brown more than kinda sucks at coaching offense. The fourth reason is that Shaq is more than kinda fat. No, but seriously, Shaq’s on his way. This is what he looked like at LSU and this is what he looked like with Miami. Imagine when he stops playing and spends all his time eating donuts as the most intimidating police officer in the history of the world. Yes, even more intimidating than the Hot Cops. The fifth reason is that Google’s top nine suggested searches after typing in Delonte West are as follows…1) Delonte West herpes 2) Delonte West girlfriend 3) Delonte West arrested 4) Delonte West kfc 5) Delonte West hot sauce 6) Delonte West race 7) Delonte West rap 8) Delonte West depression 9) Delonte West donuts. The herpes was just an unfortunately located birth mark but these links should explain most of the rest…KFC rap, crazy girlfriend and arrest. People seem to think Delonte was carrying a bit too much firepower for an evening ride on his motorcycle. Those people failed to take notice of the location of Delonte's arrest. Prince George's County. I’m with you, Delonte. And I hope you get a handle on your depression and make it back onto the court soon. As I noted earlier, the Cavs need all the help they can get.
NOTE: I like how I phrased the last couple sentences as if Delonte was going to read this blog. Good times.

Boston Celtics- Bump N’ Grind by R. Kelly. This song is only intended to highlight the Celtics physical style of defense. Boston has used that defense to jump out to an 8-1 start and has looked like the best team in the league. The point guard has arms like Mr. Fantastic and claims he can run the forty-yard dash in 3.9 seconds. The power forward is one of the fifteen best defensive players ever. The center looks like this, so you know he's not on the court for his offense. Boston's best six players are the best in the league but I don't think they're going to win their second championship in three years. I have more than a feeling that Garnett of new isn't quite the Garnett of old. I've got less of a feeling (more of a hopeful thing going on, really) that this makes the difference in the Celtics season. (See Spurs comment about jinxes.)

Los Angeles Lakers- A Whole New World from Aladdin. There was a 100% chance that I was using this song when I originally came up with the 90s music theme. And what makes more sense than using my favorite song from my favorite childhood movie to describe my favorite basketball team? The Lakers' world as defending NBA champions is quite a bit different than the one in which this group of players was looking for their first title. For starters, there is the natural problem of staying focused and motivated while other teams have improved their rosters to match-up with the Lakers. Lamar Odom married the ugly Kardashian and now appears set to become a pseudo-reality TV star. Jordan Farmar, Pau Gasol and Pau Gasol's indefinitely injured hamstring are appearing on CSI episodes. Sasha Vujacic is dating Maria Sharapova (Sasha cleans up in L.A.). Andrew Bynum has set a personal goal of becoming an all-star and has become a black hole of sorts in the post. And then there is the addition of Crazy Pills. Crazy Pills (Ron Artest) traded places with Trevor Ariza over the summer and brings an element of...volatility to the team. My personal thoughts are that it was a good signing for the next two years but a poor long-term move (though that is defensible considering the Lakers desire to maximize their chances during Kobe's prime). I'm not worried about a (slightly) older, (slightly) wiser Artest flinging himself into any melees and I'm not worried too much about his off the court...quirks. I am worried about his declining quickness and issues defending smaller players but nearly every contender's primary scoring option from the wing is a physical player (Carmelo in Denver, LeBron in Cleveland, Pierce in Boston, kind of Carter in Orlando) so in the games and series that will decide the season this shouldn't be an issue this season. I am not worried about his three-point shooting (better than Ariza's) or his passing ability (underrated). I am worried about his willingness to pass as the season progresses (and Gasol comes back and he sees less of the ball) but hopefully Kobe and Phil can keep him focused for the duration. The addition of Artest gives the Lakers the highest ceiling in the league (as shown by a 6-1 start without Gasol at all and without Bynum for two games). The frontcourt talent is absurd, really. I only have the Lakers as Western Conference champions because of anticipated defensive shortcomings. The Lakers will be a good defensive team but whichever team comes out of the East will be a great defensive team. Of all the drama surrounding the Lakers that was mentioned earlier, the only piece of information that was pertinent to their title chances was Bynum's goal of becoming an all-star. He will probably reach his goal if he stays healthy for the first half of the season but the points he will score may come at the expense of defensive effort and the Lakers need Andrew Bynum protecting the rim and defending the likes of Dwight Howard. The Lakers certainly should feed Bynum in the post at times but the offense takes off when Pau plays a larger role and Kobe is able to receive the ball in the post. It's my personal, eternally pessimistic belief that things won't quite all fit together well enough to win the championship this season (but I'm fine with being wrong...just in this particular case, though).

Orlando Magic- No Scrubs by TLC. Quality music. R.I.P. Left Eye. The Magic were my preseason pick to win the championship. They can go big, they can go small, they can stretch the floor with shooters and they have the best big man in the league. The Magic made the NBA Finals last year and improved their small forward position (Vince Carter was better last season than Turkoglu in every single way, even playmaking, look it up) and point guard position (healthy Jameer Nelson is back and better than Skip To My Lou) while improving their depth. One through twelve there are no scrubs on this roster. We're now two weeks into the season and I don't feel nearly as good about this as I did a month ago. Boston is playing historically good defense at the moment and Orlando doesn't match up particularly well with the Celtics (seven game series last year without KG). But I'm sticking with my pick even though the Magic will be relying on Vince Carter in crunch time of close games. Aw, hell, I should have thought this through more...
NOTE: Hilarious Dwight Howard story. I'm not exactly sure why the media portrays him as a saint (actually I do...personable, likable, accessible, big smile...the Superman nickname obviously isn't the only thing he has in common with Shaq) but this story is even better than finding out about him knocking up a Magic cheerleader.

Well, there it is. A three-part NBA preview sure to go down in history with Star Wars and Lord of the Rings as far as trilogies go. Enjoy. Fin.

The NBA Preview That Was (Part Two: 90s Music Edition)...

I love the 1990s. And if Vh1 has taught me anything, and I would like to believe it has taught me many a thing, it's that everybody else loves the 90s, too. So I have decided to tie this portion of the NBA preview together by assigning each team a song from the 90s that further fleshes out their fates and fortunes for the forthcoming season. Never let it be said that I don't give the people what they want...

Teams That May Be Really Good, Really Bad, Decidedly Mediocre But Most Definitely Entertaining
Houston Rockets- All the Small Things by Blink 182. The Rockets will outwork you on the offensive glass. They will correctly rotate to perimeter shooters. They will execute well out of timeouts and in end-of-game scenarios. They will draw charges. They will do all of the small things short of leaving roses by the stairs (surprises let you know she cares). Houston will wind up a poor man’s version of the 2003-06 Detroit Pistons. They will rely on balanced scoring from eight average to above-average players, be well coached and play good defense (normally would be great defense but without Yao there is no shot-blocking presence on the interior). However…the media likes story lines. The media likes offense. The media likes stars. All of these factors will contribute to the following sequence of events: 1) Rockets enter the season with little fanfare and are picked to miss the playoffs by most experts (check). 2) Rockets start the year off “surprisingly” well (signs point to a check). 3) A rash of articles appear describing the Rockets as “a group of overachievers,” “gutty,” “tough” and “unheralded” (coming soon). 4) Everyone remembers the Rockets aren’t exciting and forget about the team around the All-Star break (coming later). 5) Rockets sneak into the playoffs and take their first round opponent to six or seven games before bowing out of the postseason (coming eventually). Write it down.

Washington Wizards- The Crossroads by Bone Thugs N Harmony. Okay, so maybe this song honored the diseased Eazy-E and most of the lyrics can’t be related to basketball in any way, shape or form, but let’s take a look at the intro… “Now tell me whatchu gonna do when there ain’t nowhere to run, when judgment comes for you (when judgment comes for you). And whatchu gonna do when there ain’t nowhere to hide, when judgment comes for you (cause it’s gonna come for you).” Gilbert Arenas and Brendan Haywood are coming back from injury. Will they remain injury-free and contribute as they did when last healthy? Mike Miller, Randy Foye and Francisco Oberto were acquired to add depth to the squad. Can they fit into new schemes with new teammates? The talented Andray Blatche is entering his fifth year, Nick Young is now 24 and Javale McGee is no longer a rookie. Can any of them develop the consistency and focus needed to succeed in this league? Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison are still very productive but can they be leaders on a playoff team? Flip Saunders enters as the new Wizards coach, he of the seven 50-win regular seasons and zero NBA Finals appearances. Can he find the right combination of players to bring respectability back to Washington sports(because the Redskins and Nationals sure ain’t gonna do it)? One way or another, judgment will be passed down on all of these questions. For my money, I think the Wizards will rally to win 45 games and make the playoffs. They are the most likely dark horse candidate among the middling teams in the Eastern Conference. They are also the most likely to implode under an injury-riddled roster and slump to an unbelievably disappointing 25-win season. They do indeed stand at the crossroads.

Toronto Raptors- Around the World by Red Hot Chili Peppers. The starting point guard hails from Spain while the small forward is Turkey’s version of Michael Jordan (the competition for that title is not quite as strong in Turkey…yeah…). The starting center was drafted out of Rome and the backup center was born in the Artist Formerly Known as Yugoslavia. Throw in another Italian for good measure and it’s obvious that Toronto General Manager Bryan Colangelo agrees that “life is beautiful around the world.” And when foreign free agents say hello, he certainly says “I do.” The Raptors will be one of the most efficient offensive teams in basketball and will score enough points to contend for a playoff spot. They will also be one of the worst defensive teams in basketball and thus probably ensure themselves a first round exit from the aforementioned playoffs. The Raptors have enough talent to make some noise and scare the elite teams in the Eastern Conference but does anyone really think a ragtag bunch of Europeans will band together and suddenly play inspired defense? Didn’t think so.

Phoenix Suns- Losing a Whole Year by Third Eye Blind. Don’t let the door hit you (and your gigantic ass) on the way out, Shaquille. Last year the Suns changed their identity from a fast-paced, exciting team built around Steve Nash that was a bit of good luck away from winning an NBA championship to a conventional, boring, mediocre squad built around Shaquille O'Neal that missed the playoffs and pouted more than Owen Wilson in the second half of Wedding Crashers. Fortunately for Phoenix fans, the Suns of old are back after a one-year hiatus and are already scoring points in bunches. Unfortunately for Phoenix fans, the Suns don’t have as much talent as in years past and can’t make a serious run at the title with the current squad. Oh well.

Utah Jazz- Redundant by Green Day. “We're living in repetition, content in the same old shtick again. Now the routine is turning to contention…” This will be the fourth season that Deron Williams, Carlos Boozer, Mehmet Okur, Paul Millsap and Andrei Kirilenko have served as the backbone of the Jazz. Year One- Lost in Western Conference Finals. Year Two- Lost in Western Conference Semifinals. Year Three- Lost in First Round. Andrei Kirilenko is playing out of position, looks uncomfortable on the court and appears to be a shell of his former self. Carlos Boozer would like to be traded. Paul Millsap just signed a large contract but can’t play substantial minutes while Boozer is still on the team. Contentious, indeed. The Jazz possess talent and a definitive home court advantage but can’t seem to put everything together. Part of the problem is that the roster may be, dare I say, redundant as Boozer, Millsap, Okur and Kirilenko all function best when playing power forward. Unfortunately this leaves them only a truck party and three shoot-first point guards away from the standard set by the 2005-2006 New York Knicks.

Teams That Are Almost Good But Aren't Exciting In Any Way
Atlanta Hawks- ATLiens by Outkast. This is a great song that has nothing to do with the Hawks other than the Atlanta connection. It’s my preview; I’ll do what I want. I don’t have much to say about the Hawks. They are good but not great. They have a nice group of young players but no future star. Joe Johnson can do it all but isn’t quite a superstar, bonafide, number-one option.

Dallas Mavericks- Still D.R.E. by Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg. Dr. Dre found fame as a member of N.W.A in the late 1980s and early 1990s despite the refusal of mainstream radio to play N.W.A. songs due to explicit lyrics. Dirk Nowitzki burst onto the scene in 2000 for an exciting Dallas Mavericks team despite being a big, ugly German dude. Dre left N.W.A. to pursue a solo career and released the groundbreaking album The Chronic in 1992. Steve Nash and Michael Finley left the Mavericks but Dirk led Dallas to the NBA Finals in 2006 before capturing an MVP award in 2007 during a 67-win season. Dre went seven years before releasing another album and somewhat fell off the map before signing Eminem in 1998 and releasing 2001 (containing the single Still D.R.E.) in 1999. Dre was still Dre but you got the feeling it just wasn’t quite the same. The Mavericks lost in the first round of the playoffs during that 2007 season and have scuttled about in the middle of the Western Conference ever since. Dallas fans hope that Shawn Marion and a healthy Josh Howard will improve their fortunes. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t but either way it won’t quite be the same as old.

Teams That Are Good But Still Can't Win The Title
Denver Nuggets- Insane in the Brain by Cypress Hill. Kenyon Martin once graced the cover of Sports Illustrated. The featured article focused half on basketball and half on his thug image and self proclamation of being a "Bad Ass Yellow Boy." Chris Anderson received a two-year ban for violating the substance abuse policy, responds to the nickname "Birdman" and looks like this. Carmelo Anthony appeared in a home-made DVD entitled "Stop Snitchin" and has a "controversies" section on his Wikipedia page. Nene only has one name. J.R. Smith is the craziest player on the team and we haven't even gotten to him, yet. Hi-jinks will certainly ensue but the real reason they won't win the title is a lack of depth. Anthony Carter, Joey Graham and Renaldo Balkman have already started games for the Nuggets and that is a very bad sign.

Portland TrailBlazers- Smooth by Santana ft. Rob Thomas. This one goes out to...Greg Oden! We kid because we love, Greg. More fittingly, this goes out to...Brandon Roy. Portland knows what it's going to get from most of it's roster and that includes Roy, perhaps the smoothest player in the NBA and a legitimate superstar. LaMarcus Aldridge is a nice player but he will not be the second best player on an NBA champion...which means that Portland will go exactly as far as Greg Oden takes them. Hmmm...

The five teams that can actually win the title will be Part Three. Yeah...three parts. So necessary. Fin.

The NBA Preview That Was (Part One)...

I’m currently watching the Yankees celebrate their 27th World Series victory (ugh). Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira just thanked God for leading him to New York and giving him that first World Series ring. We can probably cut him some slack considering the moment but confusing God for the $180 million contract he signed over the winter is borderline blasphemy. Hideki Matsui won MVP and then conducted one of the more awkward trophy presentations that didn’t involve Joey Buss (it was ten times worse live), as the questions and his answers had to be translated through his interpreter. Faced with the prospect of dealing with insufferable Red Sox and Yankees fans for the indefinite future, I can only turn to the upcoming NBA season and the DEFENDING CHAMPION LOS ANGELES LAKERS. Nice. As promised here is part one of my NBA preview…

Teams That Suck And May Cause Repeated Eye Gouging Upon Watching Their Games
Sacramento Kings- If you are Jewish feel free to transfer the Kings into the ‘Teams That Suck But Still Kinda, Sorta Matter’ section. Omri Casspi is the first Israeli to play in the NBA and will see around twenty minutes per game as a rookie. Other than that the only things of note for the Kings are Kevin Martin’s scoring ability (efficient and impressive), backup point guard Beno Udrih contract (an outrageous $33 million over five years) and Andres Nocioni’s ugliness (astounding).

Minnesota Timberwolves- Ricky Rubio is my second favorite basketball player on the planet. The Timberwolves drafted Rubio but could not agree to a contract. On the one hand I am happy that Ricky doesn’t have to freeze his Spanish ass off in Minnesota for the next two years. On the other I feel cheated despite the availability of his Euroleague games on ESPN360. (I’m practicing plugging ESPN so it will come naturally when I write for them later on in life.) On my third hand I realize that I will never, ever, ever watch a Minnesota game this year and can't name even half of the members of the team.

Milwaukee Bucks- They are a reminder to fans everywhere that you can’t judge a book by its’ cover or a player by his name. Brandon Jennings, Hakim Warrick and Michael Redd sound like they could spearhead a playoff team. They can’t. Unfortunately for the Bucks, former number one pick Andrew Bogut is exactly as good as he sounds. Apparently Keith Van Horn and Alex Smith (NFL) had not already proven that it’s a bad idea to spend a top two pick on a white guy from the University of Utah. Professional franchises everywhere should thank the Bucks for making this abundantly clear.

Indiana Pacers- There are six white guys on the roster. Four will play substantial minutes. I’m not even counting Europeans. I’m talking Middle American white. I’m talking straight from the heartland white. I’m talking last names like McRoberts and Murphy white. In what may be a related note, the Pacers lack athleticism and will struggle defensively.

New York Knicks- Due to the unfortunate fact that Larry Hughes is the third best player on the roster you can write this season off for the Knickerbockers. The whole franchise is looking forward to next summer with the hope of signing LeBron James during the free agency period. They won’t because the recession has cut the salary cap and thus their spending power and…well…LeBron isn’t coming to play with scrubs. Sorry New York. Go bask in the glow of your World Series championship.

Golden State Warriors- Stephen Curry and Anthony Randolph are two of the five players under the age of twenty-one most likely to give sportswriters a boner when discussing their respective games and overwhelming talent. Don Nelson is the Warriors coach and decidedly very un-sportswriterlike so he will yank around their playing time, destroy their rhythm and confidence and run the team into the ground without even pretending to care. Thus the placement in this section instead of…

Teams That Suck But Still Kinda, Sorta Matter For Reasons That Have Nothing To Do With The Quality Of Play On The Court
New Jersey Nets- Only because the owner is a 6’9’’ playboy Russian gazillionaire who allegedly arranged for prostitutes to offer their services to guests at his extravagant Christmas party in 2007. There is no way this doesn’t help draw NBA free agents next summer when the Nets will have around $20 million in salary cap space. May be the worst team in the league at the moment but with two signings next summer to complement young stars Devin Harris and Brook Lopez…watch out.

Memphis Grizzlies- The train wreck of the year will be fascinating to watch. They have a legitimate chance to set the record for fewest assists by an NBA team. Rudy Gay and O.J Mayo are already shouting at each other on the sidelines. Allen Iverson is complaining about playing time after one game. Zach Randolph has been known to occasionally suckerpunch teammates in practice and far more frequently partake in the smoking of marijuana. Marcus Williams was suspended in college for trying to sell stolen laptops. E! should probably look into an all-access reality tv show. It would probably draw higher ratings than the actual games. (EDIT: Marko Jaric is on the Grizzlies! This show would definitely draw higher ratings than Memphis games because Adriana Lima could make appearances!!!)

Team That Is Cursed
Los Angeles Clippers- The potentially dynamic franchise player (Baron Davis) remains out of shape, slightly hobbled and more than slightly bearded. The future of the franchise (Blake Griffin) has suffered three injuries in the handful of months he has been a Clipper after a relatively injury-free college career. Chris Kaman cut his hair to the chagrin of hecklers everywhere. Eric Gordon has been saddled with the nickname “Hobbit,” which probably doesn’t encourage a lengthy stay in L.A. for the young shooting guard. I see no good things despite a reasonable amount of talent. And they are still the Clippers so…yeah…

Team That Everyone Loves And Doesn’t Matter…Yet
Oklahoma City Thunder- Kevin Durant will be great but Russell Westbrook makes the biggest improvement. James Harden’s game has been described as mature coming out of Arizona State but I think seventy-five percent of that is the beard influencing your opinion (props on the bowtie as well). It's like Baron Davis' beard except the complete opposite. Instead of making Harden look like a hobo, it gives him the appearance of maturity and wisdom beyond his years. The Thunder have been labeled a potential “sleeper” but are now slightly overrated because everyone is jumping on the bandwagon. They remain one year away from making the leap.

Eastern Conference Teams That Are Mediocre And I Considered Leaving Out Of This Preview So Feel Free To Skip To The Next Section
Charlotte Bobcats- They won’t make the playoffs because I would be their number three option on offense. See what I did there? That’s a bit of an exaggeration to make a point about the inept nature of the Bobcats offense. I wouldn’t be the third option. That’s ridiculous. I would be fifth.

Detroit Pistons – Your biggest free agent signing should be able to grow hair. I’m a firm believer of this guideline. The Pistons broke this rule by signing Charlie Villanueva for $35 million. Also, the starting center is Ben Wallace. Furthermore, Kwame Brown will play twenty minutes per game. It’s never a good thing if you reach the ‘Furthermore’ transition while discussing flaws in an NBA team. In a coincidental convergence of statistics, eight is the number of points Kwame and Wallace will score per game as well as the number of glares they will receive every game from teammates after fumbling catchable passes out of bounds.

Chicago Bulls- Cliff Notes. Derrick Rose makes this team worth watching. Everyone hates Joakim Noah. Luol Deng is British. John Salmons’ production will drop significantly. Vinny Del Negro is a terrible coach.

Philadelphia 76ers- Louis Williams is a nice sleeper for fantasy basketball. Marreese Speights fits in better with this team than Elton Brand and his gigantic, franchise-killing contract but won’t get minutes because he doesn’t make $15 million per year. Too bad?

Teams With Shaky Supporting Casts That Force Future Hall Of Famers To Waste Their Primes Carrying Mediocre Teammates To .500 Records And First-Round Playoff Exits
Miami Heat- Dwyane Wade. At least he’s already got a ring and the Heat have enough money to pursue another superstar in free agency. Plus, second-year players Mario Chalmers and Michael Beasley should improve and the Heat should make the playoffs again which might be more than can be said of the...

New Orleans Hornets- Chris Paul. Emeka Okafor and David West are solid. Ummm…apparently Morris Peterson is still starting? The supporting cast is so bad that Mateen Cleaves, his backcourt mate from MSU, could probably earn some burn. According to Wikipedia, Mateen is playing for the Bakersfield Jam after stints in Russia, Greece, and Fayetteville. I still like his chances.

Part Two will be forthcoming...with like you know...the teams that actually matter and stuff...Fin.